Friday, January 29, 2010

Land Squid

This is a conversation that just took place between me and my daughter.

VanGoghGirl: I'm a land squid.
Me: You're a land squid?! Since when?
VanGoghGirl: Yesterday.
Me: And how did this happen?
VanGoghGirl: Evolution.
Me: Yeah, I guess that's how these things tend to take place.

End of conversation.

The Future is Wild - Episode 1

The Land Squids

Tuesday, January 26, 2010

Drug Testing as a Means of Preventing Abuse of Government Funds

Tonight I was on Facebook and someone posted a comment regarding their feelings about a group for people who believe that drug testing should be a requirement for receiving welfare. That person was against this idea and cringed at the fact that there were so many people who signed up to be a part of it. Unfortunately, two people on her friends list disagreed and advocated for the groups' position. Personally, I think it's a pretty problematic idea. However, if other folks think otherwise, maybe we should give it a whirl.

Let's be consistent about the application of it, though. Why don't we also drug test everyone else who receives something from the government? For instance, before the fire department puts out the fire at the house next door to yours, we should require the occupants to pass a drug test and prove they weren't doing anything illegal that might have started the fire. Oh and we should also drug test before we allow people to get in their cars in the morning and drive on those streets that the government pays for. After all, why should they be allowed to go to work using the highways that our government pays for if they might have inhaled an illegal substance the night before.

But why stop at drug testing? Let's make people prove they haven't disobeyed any other laws before we allow them to access anything government funded. Have you jay-walked? No more street usage for you! Have you ever had a boob accidentally become exposed in public? No more access to public schools. We can't take a chance on you having another Janet Jackson/Justin Timberlake "accident" in front of America's precious little children. Right? Ever mixed your recyclables with your regular garbage? No more access to 911!

After all, if you'll abuse one government service, there's no reason to believe you won't abuse the others too. Who cares whether those people getting welfare need it to feed their kids? And who cares if your house might burn down too, just because your neighbor decided to break the law and build a meth lab next door? Why should it matter to the rest of us that you need to get to use the highways to get to work if you have ever exercised bad judgment and lived with someone who smoked weed? Besides, if you really thought your kids should be able to go to public school, you should have thought about that before you exposed yourself in public. And maybe you were jaywalking because the sidewalk was blocked. So what? We can't allow people to just break the laws whenever they think there are extenuating circumstances!

I really think we as a society should go with this idea that only some folks deserve public services. It would probably save us a lot of money, because it would make sure that no one who abuses the system gets to benefit from any aspect of government programs. Now who's ready to come with me and go talk to their Congresspersons about this genius idea?!