Tuesday, December 04, 2007


I'm envious. My cousin down the street had a baby a few months ago and she's trying to lose the weight that she gained during her pregnancy. Meanwhile, every time I look at her I wish that I could switch places with her. If there is one thing my body knows how to do it's losing weight. However, if I was her size then I'd at least have a couple of months with a sexy, curvy body before my GI-tract whittled it all away again.

I did good this month. I've only lost a couple of pounds. I think some of the suggestions I've received here (Thanks Daisy!) are helping. I was hoping to have gained some weight by this month's weigh-in but after having lots of stomach issues last week, I was pretty sure that the scale wouldn't show any increase this time around.

This topic is very significant to me. I have more weight issues than people seem to understand. Because I've almost always been skinny, I have had many incidents where people felt free to make fat jokes around me. It's like, because I'm thin, they expect for me to be repulsed by people who are not. As a matter of fact it's just the opposite. One of the best compliments I ever remember receiving in college (pre-dating The German, of course) was when a boy I was crushing on saw me after the summer break and said, "Wow, you've put on some weight since the last time I saw you! Those jeans are looking really good on you!" I must have smiled for weeks after that. I had only gained about five pounds or so and I didn't think anyone would notice but he did. Maybe it meant a lot to me because he had Krohn's disease which means he struggled with weight gain too.

My mother said that she knew I was going to marry a heavy-set person ever since I was a little kid. The first boy who knocked on my parent's front door for me was Robert Johnson, a boy who was both short and clinging to his baby fat. To my horror, my family instantly labeled Robert my "boyfriend" and began referring to him as that for a long time afterwards.

Robert was just the first. When I was a girl, I had some skinny sweethearts but the majority of the people I crushed on would almost certainly qualify as overweight, obese or morbidly obese according to those ridiculous weight-range charts you find in doctor's offices.

The idea of having all this luxurious flesh to hold and caress and pore over is just so sensual to me. Maybe it has something to do with how I wish I looked. I really don't care.


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Anonymous said...

Why do people do that? Assume that thin people dislike others being heavier? I have done that, too - assumed a thinner woman would dislike my size - to be pleasantly surprised that it's not the case. (And then I ask myself what I was thinking, because I know better than that. It still happens in me sometimes.)I am heavier than my knee likes me to be, but able to run 5k easily.

I would be happy to share some hips and thighs with you. I'm a pear, and have enough to share and still be above the stooopid weight charts.

My weight has ranged from obese to lean, and I'm in the middle right now. When I am lean, my face looks too thin, you can see my ribs through my boobs as far as half way down, and I have trouble staying warm. Now I look younger as my face is a little fuller, and I like having breasts. (And I like the attention cleavage can bring among friends.)

I, too, love women with curves. My heart leaping is not related to a woman's weight.

I'm sorry you struggle to maintain your weight. I wish ease and grace for you and your stomach, and some extra luscious pounds for you.

a member of the Bint Alshamsa fan club

queen emily said...

I'm so there with you! I really like larger people, particularly larger women.

It strikes me as ludicrous that that desire is often described as a fetish and in profoundly negative terms("chubby chaser" etc) but desiring skinny blonde girls or whatever isn't.

I'm sure it *can* become a fetish, like with feeders, but it's only when you stop seeing a person and start seeing a thing that it's a fetish imo (not that there's anything wrong with fetish, per se, it's all context).

Anyway, hope some of the weight-gaining suggestions pay off soon too :)


Daisy Deadhead said...

You're welcome! :)


Zan said...

I don't get people who assume we fat girls are just dying to get skinny. I'm not. Really. I'm fine just like I am, thank you very much. I /like/ taking up space. I like that I'm solid and soft. I like that I jiggle when I laugh. What's so horrible about that? And it's not that I hate skinny people, I just don't want to be one, ya know? Diversity is a /good/ thing!