Monday, August 27, 2007

What's In A Name?

Two days ago, VanGoghGirl was sitting in the office while her dad and I typed on our computers. Out of the blue, she said she had a question she wanted to ask me.

"How would you feel about using my dad's last name?"

Well, that got my attention! I asked her if that was something that she wanted. She said that The German and I had been together for so long that he was practically my husband, so she just wanted to know how I'd feel about having his last name.

I told her that if it was something that she wanted, then when it comes to stuff with her, I'd be willing to use a hyphenated name that combines The German's last name and mine. That way I could keep using my name too. She said that my idea sounded okay to her.

I'm not really keen on the idea of abandoning my last name all because I have a partner in my life. My father and his twin were adopted by my grandfather as toddlers. He's the first father-figure they ever had. Still, my grandmother and grandfather never changed the kid's last names. Grandmère uses my grand-père's last name though.

I just don't understand what brought this on. Yes, we all have different last names here but it's never bothered me. If people who know VanGoghGirl assume that I have the same last name as her, it doesn't botther me. It's an honest mistake and it doesn't hurt me to just respond first and correct it later, if at all. I wonder if someone at school said something that made her feel self-conscious about our abundance of last names in this household. I have refrained from asking her more about it for a couple of days because I didn't want to make her think that I'm trying to bombard her with questions about something she may not feel like discussing just yet. After school, hopefully I'll be able to work this into the conversation so that I can hear more details.


Ravenmn said...

It's an individual thing and I also can't figure it out. For instance, my daughters were 11 and 12 when our adoption became final. We told them they could keep their original last names or use our names or hyphenate. One daughter chose Ravenhub's last name, the other chose to hyphenate Ravenhub's and my last name.

Schools are actually pretty cool with this these days and it's never been a problem for the girls. Those that matter know they are sisters.

Renegade Evolution said...

Bint: I know in some cases, kids think it is the best way to say thank you to the father figure who has been a father figure to them, it's a way to honor them for being there.

Rootietoot said...

Sometimes kids just wonder 'what if'.