Tuesday, December 20, 2005

Attack of the Latter Day Saints

A couple of Springtimes ago, The German was downstairs with the laundry and some Mormons gave him a little card advertising the offer of a free Book of Mormon if you called and ordered it from their 1-800 number. Well, he passed it on to me because he knows that I have a penchant for reading religious texts. I guess it stems from my childhood. My mother always explored other cultures and taught me not to be afraid to do so either. Reading about religion is a good way to get to understand people because spiritual views seem to be at least very close to the core of human consciousness. So anyway, I called and requested a book. I figured by ordering one this way it would just come in the mail and I'd have the opportunity to get to know a bit about their views without giving any of them the impression that I was interested in joining their church. That turned out to be a big mistake.

Less than a half hour later two female missionaries from The Church of Latter Day Saints were knocking on my door. Although it was unexpected, I wasn't upset really. They said they'd be glad to bring me a copy of the book and answer any questions I had. I told them that would be fine. The two returned a few days later while The German was at work. They asked if they could come in and tell me a little bit about the book and their faith. Since I was getting the book for free--they wouldn't even accept a donation for it even though I did offer--I figured that letting them at least give their intended message was at least some compensation.

They were really sweet. They told me that they are often in the neighborhood and asked if I minded if they stopped by again soon to see what I thought of the book. I told them that I planned to read it simply out of curiousity and not because I was looking to join them but they were still welcome to stop by. Well, they did come back and I asked them a few things about their core beliefs. This led to them stopping by almost every week. They were nice enough girls, so I really didn't mind at first. After awhile, it did become a bit imposing but I didn't have the heart to tell them that what gave them so much faith simply didn't that for me. When I became a bit ill we lost touch. I suppose they gave up after knocking on my door a few times and not finding me available. I thought that was the end of it but it wasn't.

About a year later, a new set of missionaries knocked on my door. This time they were male. These guys seemed as sincere as the first two and they were definitely friendly as well. However, I think they first stopped by me when they were very close to finishing their rotation in this area, so they only stopped by and chatted with me a few times. After that I got no visits for months and I figured they'd finally given up on converting me. Once again, I was wrong.

The next two fellows who dropped by were real jerks. They started out by telling me that they had come to set my baptism date. I let them know that while I had asked a lot of questions about their church, they shouldn't have assumed that meant I wanted to be baptized as one of them. They asked me to tell them whatever questions I needed answered before I would be willing to believe that theirs was God's only true church. I told them that they'd have to show that God would really discriminate between his children based on skin color as was their never-apologized-for practice up until about twenty years ago.

No comments: