My Private Casbah

Yes, There ARE Bigots in the LGBTQIA Community

2012-01-27T02:24:00.003-06:00

I'm just going to jump right in here and explain what's wrong with the way this supposedly liberal writer used the term "redneck". In a letter that Mitchell S. Gilbert wrote to a Tennessee politician who has been engaging in homophobia, he said,

"Why do southern red-necks open their mouths and advertise to the world how incredibly simple, bigoted and foolish they are?"

The term "redneck" is a lot like the term "cracker" or "honky". Sure, it's perfectly okay for people to use those terms about themselves, but it's certainly not okay to use them as pejoratives that are then applied to others.

My daddy is proud to refer to himself as a "black redneck". Anyone from here knows that "redneck" really describes a rather decent way of life. My daddy views it as a capitulation every time he has to buy fish from the store for dinner. My daddy saw the raccoon that got trapped in our garbage can one night as a boon from the good Lord. My daddy made sure that every girl under his roof knew how to shoot a gun, before she moved out. Like a good redneck, he thinks that women should leave the cooking to men. My momma hasn't cooked dinner in over a decade and he hates when she gets in the kitchen and moves stuff around. My daddy kept skinned rabbits in our deep freezer. He worked outdoors most of his life and when his first wife left him, he raised his eight kids all by himself for many years until he met my mother. From then on he raised his 8 plus her 4, without a single complaint about it.

Using the term "redneck" as if it's something to be ashamed of is really low and more than a little bit prejudiced. I'd like to see folks stop looking for labels that they can use to denigrate those who belong to a different way of life. I readily identify as queer. However, if I walk down the street and someone says, "Look at that queer!" you and I both know that they are using it as a slur. It's the same thing when you use the term "redneck" in the way that the author did. It's rather irritating when people in the LGBTQIA community see nothing wrong with slurring an entire group of people, just because they don't like what an individual did. It's disgustingly hypocritical.

For Science!!

2012-01-12T03:51:00.002-06:00

Today, a dear friend passed along a link regarding a project in Oaxaca that seeks to save Mexico's native corn varieties. Maybe it was because it's 4 a.m. and I can't sleep. For whatever reason, I'm in a cranky mood and I felt motivated to talk about something from my past that I'm still a tiny bit bitter about. And this friend is really, really easy to open up to, so that might have something to do with it, too. It was my pre-cancer life when I was on my way to...what? An exciting future as a botanist or geneticist or pharmacologist? I'm so far from that person now, that I sometimes find it difficult to even remember who she was or what motivated her.

This incident might not seem like a big deal to anyone else, but maybe it changed the course of my beliefs about the world. My grandfather practically revered science. I don't think I've ever said it here, but when he died we found out that he had donated his body to science. Tulane Medical School got the call from I don't know who, but they came and picked up his body straight from my grandmother's house. He'd never discussed his decision with anyone, but they showed us his papers where he'd agreed to it. I was shocked at first, but after a while it made perfect sense to me. It was just the sort of thing he'd do. I'm sure he loved the idea of being able to contribute something of value to the world of medical research. This is soooo besides the point of this post, so I'll get back to it.

I don't like to talk about it very often, but...In my academic days about a decade ago, I was once in a conference presenting my results of a study on GMOs and I was silly enough to believe that a bunch of biologists from universities around the nation would give a damn about this stuff. I even passed out little seed bags that I handed to people. I'd filled them with all sorts of seeds that can grow well indoors or outdoors. Most bio labs that I worked in had windows and I made sure to tell folks that these would grow fine in a window sill. I wanted to make it more than just a dry research review on tomatoes and rice.

So, ya' know. I presented my research results. The tl;dr version was about how we don't need to pump nutrients and other shit--excuse my language, but you know that's what it is--back into certain foods, because there were already varieties that already have a high nutritional value. So, I did the whole power point with the charts, figures, and blah blah blah. *I* was silly enough to believe that what I was saying would at least be mildly interesting. I mean, these are biologists. They are notorious for being able to get interested in teeny tiny results that almost no one will care about. I got a couple of polite questions and requests for copies, but it was mostly disinterest.

My feeling now is that change ain't going to come from a lab. I'm not anti-science or anything wacky like that. It's just...We're going to have to save ourselves by preserving whatever we can ourselves. The seed banks they're creating won't help us. You and I know that folks like us aren't going to be the kind that those folks in power think should be preserved if mankind has to start over from scratch or from whatever ruins our Grand Catastrophe leaves behind.

I'm just so disillusioned about the current state of things with plant genetics research. I mean, you'd think SCIENTISTS would be leading the charge in the fight for the preservation of biodiversity. I have opinions about why they're not, but I think I'd better save that rant for another day.

For People with "Solutions" to Obesity That They Just Won't Keep to Themselves

2012-01-04T04:01:00.005-06:00

I've been thinking more and more about the comments I read on the HuffPo article that I blogged about a few hours ago. It wasn't a surprise to see an abundance of people making comments like, "Just put down the fork", "Just eat fewer calories than you burn", "I hate seeing people eat excessively" and "nobody made you eat, so it's all your fault that you're fat." Although it's exactly what you see every time there's an article about obesity, it still bothered me a lot. There's so much that I wanted to tell these asshats.

My partner's grandmother died of lung cancer. She never smoked. Her husband did, though. He survived much longer than she did and he never got cancer. Sometimes, outside factors are to blame. Sure, it's much easier to tell people to solve it all on their own. That way you don't have to take responsibility for your role in why there is an obesity problem in this country. See, you don't want to admit that your apathy and lack of compassion towards others might affect their lives.

I'm underweight. I struggle to stay at what is seen as a healthy weight. If simply adjusting how much one eats was the key to controlling a person's weight, then almost no one would be obese. No matter how much I eat, I will likely remain underweight. Why? I have an autoimmune condition that makes my GI-tract so FUBAR that I constantly deal with gastric dumping syndrome so bad that my food often goes straight through my body in less than a couple of hours. Eating more doesn't change that. Exercising less doesn't change it.

You know what does change it? Being able to afford to buy and eat just the foods that don't aggravate my problem and having good health care. When I can get to the doctor regularly and get the meds that I need, I can sporadically experience two or three months at a time where my GI-tract works okay. Then, my lupus flares-up again and I drop all of the weight that I may have been able to gain during the good times.

See, that's why your silly little assumptions should be disregarded. We are not all clones of each other. What works for some people will not work for others. Since you're not their doctor, you don't know what will work for them. You're just guessing. If you don't like to see people be excessive, then why don't you keep your excessive unqualified medical advice to yourself? The world doesn't need it.

Georgia Thinks Shaming Children Sounds Like a Great Campaign

2012-01-04T03:42:00.005-06:00

HuffPo features an article about a new campaign going on in Georgia. They titled it, "Georgia Anti-Obesity Ads Say "Stop Sugarcoating" Childhood Obesity". I think that's disingenuous. It's actually a campaign to shame children who are considered obese and their parents. The picture you see here is just one of their ads.

I think it's disgusting and abusive. That ad is just the tip of the iceberg for these hateful people. They've managed to come up with several others that are just as bad and some that are much worse. I'm not going to post them here, because I just don't want to see that on my blog. However, the HuffPo article shows them and anyone who wants to see them that can look there.

My daughter is skinny. I'm talking about size 0-2 skinny. Honestly, it's mostly because of genes. She's never dieted a day in her life. She eats a lot, even for a teen (she plays soccer and has to eat a lot to have enough energy to perform at her peak). In fact, because she eats so much and she's so skinny, she has had numerous girls confide to her that they "binge and purge". They see how much she eats and how skinny she is and they think that she must do it too. They want to know what techniques she uses, so that they can try it, too.

It's scary. These kids are desperate enough to nearly kill themselves, because of the shame they have been made to feel. Shame doesn't make them get skinnier. It makes them get suicidal. Is that what people want? It's certainly one way to reduce the number of obese kids in America, now isn't it?

The goal shouldn't be to make kids lose weight. The goal should be to help them get and stay healthy. People need to learn the difference. Sadly, most would rather be judgmental toward a group that's easily vilified, than to put their money where their mouth is and provide the funds necessary to create a healthier society.

California comes up with an ingenious way to fix its mistakes

2012-01-03T15:03:00.003-06:00

CalWORKS recipients losing due to parent payments

California's CalWORKS welfare program is meant to help the state's neediest families. The cash assistance, usually a few hundred dollars a month, is available only to people with children who have trouble meeting basic needs such as housing, food, clothing and medical care.

One of those people is Fresno County resident Clarence Ayers, who receives $334 each month to help raise his 14-year-old great-granddaughter, Irene. So Ayers was shocked when officials informed him in July that they would be cutting Irene's monthly stipend to make up for nearly $3,000 CalWORKS mistakenly paid her mother more than a decade prior, some of it before Irene was born.

These officials are making a child financially responsible for their mistakes. The amount that her great-grandfather was receiving for her each month wasn't even enough to raise a child down here in Louisiana. With the cost of living in California, I don't know how they were managing to survive. As if that's not tough enough, now they are slashing that because she happens to be related to someone that they claim owes them money. If you read the rest of the article, you'll find out that it's even worse than that. The state won't even tell them why they've decided that her mother, who was a child at the time, was overpaid.

This is why I am saving so that my daughter can travel after graduating from high school. She needs to see what life is like in other places. I can't let her live her life with this stupid belief that "Amurika is da best nation on the planet!" This is certainly not the best that the world has to offer, not by a long shot.

My aunt came to the United States to try and live here for a few years while her youngest daughter is in college here. She was so miserable that she returned to Cochabamba in less than a year. My sister just moved back to Japan for a while. She plans to come back, but she needed a break so that she could go home and get some much needed health care and to work and save up enough money to supplement the lousy pay that she makes as a music teacher and as a chef at a small restaurant in New Orleans. One couple that I'm friends with are thinking about how they can save up enough money to return to the homeland of the women, because it's next to impossible for a transgender woman to find legal employment in the good ol' state of Louisiana.

I could go on and on. It seems like anyone with options is getting out of here like birds before a hurricane. I don't blame them. I'm just about at the point where I'm about ready to do the same.

It's a bitter feeling, because I was raised to be proud that I come from a people that have survived here for thousands of years. The idea of leaving fills me with guilt. If things get worse after I'm gone, would it be, at least partly, because I abandoned the land? I feel as if I should be willing to stay here and just find some way to make a life for myself and my family no matter how bad conditions become. After all, my life isn't even close to being as difficult as what some people in this country are forced to deal with.

Rick Perry, who can barely speak it himself, wants USA to be "English-Only"

2011-12-31T12:31:00.001-06:00

So, the Republican wannabe President Rick Perry announced that he wants the USA to make English our official language. English-only laws will NEVER work in Louisiana. We have LOTS of people (who were born and raised in the USA) who speak French as their first language. French and Spanish are much more American than English. Both French and Spanish were in use before the English-speakers decided to colonize these lands. These English-only pushers are mostly lazy jerks who are too stupid to see the value of being multilingual and keeping this nation multilingual as it has always been. I mean, if it bothers you THAT much that other folks in this country don't speak a language that you can understand, then the intelligent response would be to learn some new languages. If you think that's too much work for you to be expected to do, then you've also provided a pretty good reason why other Americans shouldn't be expected to learn English.

Too many people in this country are like dinosaurs. Their mentality is so rigid that it's going to cause their own extinction. Today's children are much more accepting of differences than the older generations tend to be. I think the world will be the better for it.

I'm multilingual. I speak English, Arabic, pretty basic French and Spanish, too. I could catch on to French rather easily, because even the English-speakers use so much of it down here in Louisiana. I took a few French and Spanish classes in high school and around 4 semesters of Arabic in college. I periodically practice with Rosetta Stone to keep from forgetting the basics. It has enriched my life as an American in more ways than I can list.

My own American-born-and-raised teenage daughter speaks English, some German, a good bit of Japanese and Chinese, and can understand basic Arabic and French. She taught herself the Asian languages and now she's teaching herself German. She also took 2 years of Latin in high school. She's going to be prepared to compete in a global market in ways that monolingual folks just can't. If a company can hire an American who can speak several languages or an American who can only speak English and refuses to learn anything else, why in the world would they choose the monolingual applicant? You English-only advocates will only manage to shoot yourselves in the foot, but who am I to stop ya'?! If you're proud of your ignorance, go right ahead and flaunt it.

Jack Kevorkian and Carol Loving: Self-Promoting Partners in Crime

2011-12-15T14:04:00.005-06:00

Stephen Drake, who maintains the Not Dead Yet commentary blog wrote about Time Magazine's sloppy and inaccurate obituary for Dr. Jack Kevorkian (the serial killer of people with disabilities) in their "Person of the Year" issue. After reading Drake's post, I went to post a comment on the magazine's web edition of the obituary.

I read it and took a look at the comments that had already been left by others. One of them stood out. It was from Carol Loving (I know, the irony is just too much for me to address).

What I find bewildering about this article is the lack of factual knowledge about the doctor and his method of assisting the dying. I guess that is a sign of the times.
Dr. Kevorkian is the man of the century, the 20th century.
The most honest and dignified account of his service to mankind has been incorperated into a play, created in 2009, at Western Michigan University, in collaberation with Tectonic Theater Project.
The play is GOOD DEATH: A Community Conversation. In August of this year, the play received stellar reviews in Edinbugh, Scotland. It has the power to inspire all who see the performance.
We will see euthanasia follow the good works of Dr. Kevorkian !

Carol Loving, Author
My Son, My Sorrow: The Tragic Tale of Dr. Kevorkian's Youngest Patient

I almost have choked upon reading this! This woman had a son, Nick Loving, who was diagnosed with Lou Gehrig's disease. When her son became depressed about his limitations and became suicidal, she wrote to Jack Kevorkian asking him to help her kill her son. Now, she has a book all about how wonderful Kevorkian's work was. On her website, where she advertises her availability for interviews, she also mentions that she's currently in the process of "working on a novel based on the right to die". Well, isn't that just wonderful! Anyway, I decided to reply to her comment on the Time Magazine page. I know how comments that are critical of ableism tend to get deleted on websites, so I decided to post it here, too. Everything below this sentence is what I said to her. I added a link to the sentence where I made an accusation, so that the reader can see that I wasn't just making this up.

By the way, I think it's pretty sickening how you go around on the internet advertising your book (about how you helped Jack Kevorkian kill your son) and looking for someone to offer you a film deal for it. The title of your book says it all. It wasn't YOUR sorrow. You're still here. You're not the one who experienced Lou Gehrig's disease. You didn't even bother to help your son see it through to the end. Instead, you helped Kevorkian speed up the end and now you can go on with your life without the stress of being his caretaker.

I am eternally grateful that my husband and my parents didn't have your attitude when I was diagnosed with an incurable bone cancer in my chest. Instead of giving in to my feelings of hopelessness, they insisted that the life I still had was valuable and worth living. It took a little while, but I began to see the truth in what they were saying. Not long after that, the doctors told me that a new form of radiation technology had been developed and that I was the perfect candidate for it. To orthopedic oncologist's surprise, the combination of radiation and surgery was enough to stop the progression of my cancer and here I am eight years later.

I feel such anguish for those people with disabilities who didn't have loved ones that cared enough to help them hold on. Science advances so quickly now that new treatments are always being developed and if you keep living just a little while longer, there's a very good chance that your quality of life can be improved.

I've seen my daughter graduate from elementary school, then middle school, and now she's 2 years from graduating high school and starting college. I would have missed so much joy, if my family had allowed me to give in to the depression that I felt after receiving the cancer diagnosis. Thankfully, no one considered my life to be "their sorrow". They considered it a blessing, because it allowed us to learn just how valuable a commitment to love and hope can be.

For the Gazillionth Time, Why the Rich Should Pay More Taxes

2011-12-11T00:57:00.003-06:00

Today, I ran across someone online arguing that giving people unemployment checks makes them dependent on the government and that we shouldn't make the ultra-rich pay more in taxes, because it's wrong to target people based on income. This is pretty basic, but it's obvious that it needs to be spelled out for some folks.

My family lives in a private neighborhood with a fancy paved brick entrance. My daughter babysits and tutors a couple of kids. They live on our street, so she can walk to their house and bring them over here or stay at their house and carry out her job teaching them to read. Our city contracts out the garbage collection services that we pay the city to provide. The garbage collection company sends its workers down this street and their trucks break up our nice brick paved entrance to our nice private neighborhood. Both businesses (my daughter's and the garbage collection company) use this street. They don't use them to the same degree or with the same frequency or effect.

When the entrance gets so messed up that that it must be fixed, who should be held responsible for the damage? Should my daughter be held responsible for the damage? If her tennis shoes happened to kick a loose brick fragment, you might be able to make the argument that she's also responsible for the condition that it's in. However, would it be ethical to make her pay as much as the garbage company should pay for the repairs? I think that would be ridiculous. It's obvious that her feet aren't heavy enough to have the same effect as a huge garbage truck driving over the entrance.

Fortunately, the folks on this street can afford to repair the damage to our paved entrance without having to bother with making the city pay for the problem that their contracted business caused. However, what about the wear and tear that these heavy trucks put on public streets? When those streets need to be fixed, the city will have to pay for it. It will get the money to pay for it through taxes. Should the guy who has no car and has a one-man business that he runs out of his house be forced to pay as much in taxes as the guy who owns all of these garbage trucks that go rumbling through every street in our city? Making the garbage truck owner pay more in taxes isn't targeting him because of his income. He's being made to pay more, because he is using a lot more of the city's resources.

The owner of the corner store near my old apartment buys the ingredients for his po'boys from Sam's Wholesale Club (I've seen him in there doing it). He's going to use the streets to get his goods from his supplier and back to his store. He uses his car. It's, maybe, a 15 minute drive. However, Sam's uses trains and 18-wheeler trucks criss-crossing the country and the state to get their goods from the supplier to their multiple stores. Is it unfair to make Walmart/Sam's pay more in taxes than the guy who sells sandwiches? I don't think so. It's ridiculous to treat all Americans as if they use America's resources equally. Walmart/Sam's and the garbage collection company use put more wear and tear on the streets of my city, than the small-business owner with an at-home office or a single family-owned corner store.

Glamour Magazine Pretends Like it Cares About Women's Self-Esteem

2011-12-10T14:01:00.003-06:00

So, Glamour magazine decided to place a photo of a "plus-sized" model, named Lizzie Miller, in their September issue. It has garnered a lot of attention, because women that size (12-14) are almost never seen in the modeling world or featured in a style or fashion magazine. Even the Today show brought the model and the editor-in-chief of Glamour magazine on to their show to gush over how amazing it is that they put this one photo in their issue.

I'm glad that the interviewer pointed out the fact that the magazine didn't put her on their cover and didn't feature her in a photo spread. They just stuck this one photo on page 194.

Earlier today, I saw some comments made about this article from the perspective of a former model. She brought attention to the problematic way that people are talking about how Lizzie Miller is a real sized woman and that she looks like real American women do. Being svelte doesn't mean she isn't a real woman.

I had some of the same feelings about this. I'm a size 4-6. My 16 year-old daughter is a 2. I was around a 2-4 before I became pregnant with her. Neither of us have ever dieted. It's just how we are made. We are real women, too. We have also been short-changed by/in this culture that says that one particular body type should be what we all aspire to.

Lots of people feel like it's perfectly acceptable to make comments about our bodies, as long as they think they are making compliments. I absolutely despise the men who think that, because we're thin, we'll find their comments about "fat" women amusing and feel flattered not to be considered a part of that category. People make all sorts of anorexia nervosa jokes to my daughter, as if that's a subject that people should feel free to joke about. I mean, if she did have anorexia, I think that those comments might even exacerbate the condition.

It's bad enough for my daughter, who then feels like she's under pressure to prove to them that she does eat as much as others and even a bit more, because she's an athlete and she has to replenish her body regularly to stay at peak performance.

The thing she hates the most is when moms will tell their daughters that they should find out my daughter's secret to how she stays so thin. I had a hard time believing that this had actually occurred multiple times, until I heard the other girls in their circle talking about the mother's comment, too. I can't even begin to imagine what it would feel like to know that your own mother thinks your friend is better looking than you. It certainly doesn't help the girl's friendship.

Being multi-ethnic/multi-racial means that in many ways she is positioned on the margins of different communities. This adds an extra layer to the pressure, because in her black circle of friends, she's often told that she needs to "put some more meat on her bones" and she gets teased by guys and girls who tell her she has no butt. The message is that she would be sexier if she gained some weight. In her white circle of friends, she's surrounded by girls who are dieting or simply dissatisfied with how much they weigh. It's absolute madness!

Meanwhile, I'm trying to teach her to love herself just the way she is. Sometimes, it feels like the message that I'm trying to get across to her is completely drowned out by all of the viewpoints coming from society. I don't want to see "plus-sized" models in magazines. I want the entire magazines to go away. Occasionally putting a few average-sized women in their issues doesn't change the fact that they are still contributing to the sexualization of children and the objectification of women and girls.

Theism isn't what makes me different from Christopher Hitchins

2011-12-08T21:01:00.005-06:00

An acquaintance of mine sent me a link to an article in Vanity Fair that was written by the renowned atheist, Christopher Hitchins. The person told me that he found the article interesting and he thought that I would, too.

It was rather sad, to me, actually. I had almost the opposite experience from the one described in the article. Right now, I'm in another bout of serious health problems. I've been sick since October. First, it was an upper respiratory infection. Then came the gastroenteritis, followed by a throat infection. Then I developed a yeast infection and now they've found cysts on my ovaries. It has not been an easy couple of months. Yet, I am happier than I ever was before I became disabled. Learning to live with what many would see as "indignities" has given me insights that I could not have learned any other way.

Proton therapy is rough, but it's actually a lot gentler than traditional radiation (By the way, I think it's also offered in Massachusetts and most certainly in several other centers around the world). When I was in radiation, I remember looking at my back in the mirror and seeing just what fried skin looks like. I remember The German peeling and snipping ragged strips of half-sloughed skin off of my back, so that the edges wouldn't keep "catching" on my shirt and ripping away the skin that was still attached.

I remember not being able to swallow without pain, when even the prospect of having to eat made me want to cry--and sometimes I did. I remember when life was lived in segments measured by doses of narcotics. From two hours after I took two Percocet, it was a pain-filled countdown until I could take my next dose.

To some extent, this is still the case. I love food. I do not love eating food. Eating food carries the risk that I will spend hours in the bathroom, as my body attempts to expel more than I've even managed to take in during a given meal. I still live between doses of pain meds, though I'm now only using Lortab and I've managed to cut my daily intake down to half of what it was at the beginning of 2011.

Yet, I'm happier than I was before this crazy journey began. I spent most of my relatively non-disabled years (i.e. the pre-cancer period from birth until my early 20's) periodically attempting suicide and settling for dissatisfying relationships of one kind or another. I was a victim of childhood sexual assault and the child of a single parent and, as you know, stuck in a religious cult of the worst variety.

It was a very lonely life. I never felt like I fit in anywhere. There was no one to confide in. The penalties for stepping outside of the strictly-regulated life that was demanded by the cult were severe and permanent. Being true to myself wasn't even a consideration. There was no "myself", really. It was all "we". Even in prayer, I wasn't an individual. I was taught, "In Jesus name, we pray. Amen." We. Hah! And, I never felt "good enough". I just couldn't figure out how to please everyone who I thought was entitled to control my life.

But cancer changed that. One of the quickest things I learned was, just like the outer layer of the skin on my back, I could live without a lot of stuff I once thought essential. Cancer was freedom. I no longer felt obligated to keep certain people in my life. Once I learned that I was nearing the end of this life, I felt absolutely no guilt about not returning phone calls, not entertaining or indulging self-centered users, not going to church 3 times a week. I decided to devote myself to creating lasting memories for the people that I was going to leave behind, the people who I really cared about.

Maybe, having a mission helped to save me from the darkness that Hitchins seems to feel. I decided that I didn't want to have been born, lived, and died without ever having figured out who I was, what I really believed, and what I wanted my daughter to know about me. I was going to make this dying process one filled with love and laughter and closeness.

I was able to give my daughter real advice, instead of the bourgeois sanctimoniousness that so many parents instill in their children. I only had a little while, so we had to get down to business. I couldn't wait until she was 20 years old to start having frank discussions with her about sexuality and spirituality.

I found complete sexual liberation. If I was going to try something, then there was no sense in putting it off. I had someone who loved me and wanted to spend the rest of my life with me, no matter how long or short that life would be. So, why not?! He has never made a single demand of me. He's never even asked me to try anything outside of what I'd felt comfortable initiating. If ever there was someone that I could feel secure with, as I reveled in my sexuality, it was him. That's not something I wanted to waste. We spent all sorts of snatched moments, between doctors visits and treatments and bad days, making each other gloriously satisfied.

It's not all rainbows and butterflies, of course. My limitations still frustrate me. I'm not dead yet, but I still have this sword of Damocles hanging above my head at all times. However, it doesn't make me feel diminished in the way that Hitchins describes. I suspect that is also the result of something I did differently from him. I went out and found true community with those like me.

Hitchins seems to be trying to preserve what he had before. I've chosen to adapt to where I am now. Before his cancer, Hitchins had a community of like-minded folks. He was a leader in the atheist community. However, that community is not very welcoming for people with disabilities. It has a long, long history of ablism and I'm not just talking about the kind of ablism that involves shelves placed too high for wheel-chair accessibility or television directors using cancer as the default way of eliminating characters they no long have any use for. Don't get me wrong. That stuff is annoying. However, this community that Hitchins claimed was in possession of the solution(s) to nearly all of the world's most significant problems regularly engages in an entirely different category of ablism. I'm talking about the type that advocates the "culling" of people with disabilities, asserts that our lives are inferior and proclaims that we should not be allowed to decide what sort of meaning(s) our life holds.

The atheist community (i.e. those who define themselves as atheist) isn't the only one that engages in ablism, but it is a lot worse than many others. There are some who are trying to change that, but it hasn't resulted in any significant changes in the egregious ablism that is so common in that community. Those with life-threatening disabilities have specific issues that are even distinct from those experienced by people whose conditions are not as threatening. That makes it even more unlikely that Hitchins was going to find his community very helpful at this point in his life.

Pre-cancer, I was involved in a lot of anti-racist work. I still believe that racism should be fought. However, when I did become seriously disabled, I found that the anti-racist movement did not offer all that I needed at that point in my life. My anti-racist friends were sympathetic and caring, but I eventually had to accept that our lives were on diverging paths. I simply couldn't make being anti-racist the identity that my life revolved around.

Thanks to the internets, it wasn't long before I discovered the fact that there is an entire community just for folks like me. Before that time, I never even considered the idea that, just as there is a black community and a feminist community and a Christian community, there is also a disabled community.

Not only did it exist--it was also wonderful! It didn't just accept me. It nurtured me. Instead of being work, it was being a family. It spoke to my soul or whatever you want to call that most intimate part of one's being. Without any need for explanations, it embraced me. It seemed tailored just to what I needed and just who I was.

However, if you're not a part of the disabled community, you might not understand what it is. It consists of people whose bodies set them apart, in one way or another, from what societies have decided should be considered normal. To some extent, it also includes those who are partnered with, have children or parents who fit that description. There's more to it than that, though. From that group, the disabled community is comprised of those who assert that difference is good and vital to the world, not something that we should seek to eliminate or "cure". In the disabled community, every life has value because life has value.

I can not, in one post, describe the richness and depth of this community any more than I could, in one post, describe what it means to be a part of the black community or the American community. It is this community that taught me self-love to a degree that I never experienced before. It is this community that showed me, better than any other, why diversity is important and all of the many reasons why it's so important. It is this community that helped me to understand that tolerance shouldn't be the goal for society. What we need is acceptance. That understanding led me to a place where I could plant my feet and make my stand in this world. I could do it, regardless of whether I was able to stand at all. In my bed, in the hospital, leaning over the toilet seat, on my worst days, I am still a valued and powerful part of this community.

Hitchins doesn't seem much interested in the disabled community, even though he could certainly be an atheist and be a part of it. After all, I am more than just a person with disabilities. Since he began treatment, he has had less time to devote to his preaching work on behalf of atheism. This poignant article discusses what the prospect of losing his voice or his ability to write would mean to him. It saddens me to read it. I want to reach out to him and say,

"You are more than your abilities! You are wonderful, because you are, you exist! Your life has value because, despite odds almost too grand to even measure, you came into this world! You are a flame that, together with mine and many others, brightens this vast and mysterious universe! Isn't that enough?!"

But, maybe for him, it isn't. That, more than a belief or disbelief in a god, is what sets us apart.

In Defense of Mic Check Direct Actions

2011-12-03T18:00:00.005-06:00

Azizi on Pancocojams wrote a blog post about a recent trend she's noticed since the 99% movement has gained steam. She's speaking out against the way that she's seen people using the "mic check" in direct action protests.

"The human microphone system, the call & response method of repeating statements, isn't being used for its original purpose of helping people in large groups without access to microphones hear what is being said. Instead, it's being used to disrupt communication from someone the group doesn't agree with, and it's being used to garner publicity for the protesting group's cause or causes....My bottom line is that if "mic check" is supposed to be a means of enhancing communication, I'd count that protest use of mic check a failure, since it's usually difficult to understand what the protesters are shouting. But beyond that, I don't like the use of "mic check" to disrupt other's speeches or other people's public appearances (even the speeches or public appearances of persons I vehemently disagree with like Glen Beck). I think that "mic checking" people is contrary to the right of free speech. Besides, it's just rude."

I guess I should first address the issue of free speech. The right to free speech doesn't mean you have the right to be heard. If someone talks over you while you're making a point, it's not an example of someone taking away your rights. It's just them exercising the same right at the same time. Maybe rudeness matters to some people. I can dig that. I was born and raised in Louisiana, so I have had all of the laws of courtesy drilled into my head from an early age. Still, there are times when rudeness just doesn't matter to me.

I had to be rushed to the emergency room at a hospital earlier this week, because I was really sick and couldn't keep my medicine down. When I got there, they had to immediately set up an IV-bag and start administering a bunch of drugs, just to try to get me stabilized. I don't remember a single one of them asking me if I'd like something to drink or offering me a glass of tea. Of course, they could also point out that I didn't exactly ask for their permission before I proceeded to use their bathroom.

My point is that there are times when rudeness isn't a highly-prioritized consideration. If we focused on avoiding rudeness, at all costs, then the world is not going to be a very desirable place to reside. There isn't a single social justice movement in the world that can't rightfully be considered "rude" according to the views of many folks who witnessed them take place. I'm sure it mattered to them, but those who were fighting for rights had more important considerations. For those who are protesting, that someone might be rude to Beck and his acolytes matters very little in the grand scheme of things, especially when one considers how little they care about the rudeness of their own behavior.

The other part of her argument has to do with the efficacy of this particular form of direct action. To address that, I think it would help if we clarified things a bit. If we're going to be honest about the origin of the human mic check, it certainly can't be attributed to helping people in large groups understand what's being said. It's origin in this country can be found in the African American church over a century ago.

It was a means of participation between the congregation and the speaker. It can be heard in the gospel music that birthed the Jazz Age. This call and response was typical in early jazz music. Back then it was derided as cacophony and tribal and certainly not "real music". The jazz musicians and aficionados were considered the trashy troublemakers upsetting the natural order of things.

Still, they continued their call and response music for each other, not for their critics. I think that's important to recognize. It was never meant to attract those who didn't see the value of jazz styling. Nevertheless, it had value. It changed America, despite the critics. This call and response music became known as the first truly American form of music. To be honest, it changed the world in many ways. It became the protest music of its day. It was the voice and sounds of those who were alienated from the "natural order of things". It was the music of the youth. It expressed their values, even when it meant that they would be seen as socially unacceptable.

After a while, the call and response aspects of jazz fell out of use. It is even used less in the African-American church(es) where it was first found. It was replaced with less participatory music. Now, it's seeing a resurgence. It is being reborn in a new period of protest by the societal underclasses. Some use it one way. Some use it other ways.

If we're going to be purists, then the only acceptable use of this style of communication is within the confines of the Black churches of the south. But why should we be purists? The essence really hasn't changed. Those who use it for the large crowds at rallies and those who use it for direct action at bookstores are still using it for the same thing it was always used for. It is still essentially a means of communication and participation for and by those who have something to say. Some will find it attractive. Others will be repulsed by it. However, the response(s) by outsiders does not determine the legitimacy of its role in any of these settings.

I'm really skeptical about this idea that protesters need to win over the non-believers. I don't think that's even possible. If someone cares about justice, then they will be attracted to just causes. If someone cares more for the retention of the status quo, then they aren't going to join these protesters no matter how politely they go about expressing themselves.

Some folks thought that the counter sit-ins were pointless and even unnecessarily provocative. Others felt differently and they participated in it. They didn't go in there expecting to change minds. They went in and sat at those counters to show where they stood on this issue of "separate but equal" societies. In the end, it was a combination of strategies that effected the changes we benefit from today. We needed Martin Luther King Jr. and Malcolm X.

People in the media tried to get MLK to speak critically of Malcolm X, but he pretty much refused to do it. It wasn't HIS way, but he knew that they all had to choose their own path. He never told Malcolm to change his ways and adopt his strategy.

Today, I don't really identify as one of the 99%. I choose to cast my lot with the "Un-Percent" folks (Check out a brilliant indigenous American activist named "Ian Ki'laas Caplette" on Facebook, if you want to know more about it). So, I'm going to fight for social justice in the way that my heart leads me. Not everyone is going to see much point in how I protest, but that doesn't determine its legitimacy. Likewise, not everyone is going to feel moved by mic check protesting. However, judging from its increased popularity, it's obvious that some do.

Mic check protests are direct acts of people standing up and making their stance known. It's not a promotional act. If so, they'd be turning out glossy books with smiling white guys on the front of them, like Beck and Hannity and O'Reilly produce. In fact, it's the antithesis of that. It is the protesters way of saying, "No! Contrary to what Beck and his cronies are telling you, things are not okay. We can not continue to pretend that there's plenty of time to sit around and allow predatory capitalism and unchecked consumerism flourish in our world."

So, even if nobody else listens, even if they say protesters are going about it all wrong, the one thing they won't be able to say is that nobody tried to warn them. They won't be able to deny that we spoke out. And even if the world refuses to change, I and those who used their preferred method of protest can go into oblivion with peace of mind, knowing that we did try.

Smart Protesters Come Prepared for Riots

2011-11-02T00:32:00.003-05:00

Today, I saw a quote that read "When you want to know who wants to incite a riot, it's helpful to observe who comes dressed for one".

I know the person who wrote it was trying to be clever and thought they were making a good point. However, it's just this attitude that contributes to the way that some protesters are labeled trouble-makers even before they've done anything. I've been watching lots of videos showing how police in several cities have come in and attacked protesters participating in what has been labeled the "Occupy Wall Street" movement. It's horrendous. They have been snatching people out of crowds and beating and arresting them. They have sprayed pepper spray into the eyes of people who were doing nothing more than standing on the sidewalk and speaking their piece.

I have a lot more to say about that. However, since I am in my third week of an upper-respiratory virus and quite low on energy, I'm going to save that for later and stick to saying what I think about the above quote. It's also my advice for folks participating in protests like these for the first time.

Know this: everyone who goes to protests should come dressed for one. Any seasoned political activist should know that. It's just not smart to show up to these things in baggy clothes (they make it easier for the police to grab you), sandals (if the folks near you start running, you don't want to have your bare feet stomped), easily identifiable clothing (nondescript gear allows you to blend in and avoid being singled out by the police).

This isn't a game, people. This is revolution and it isn't a pretty process. The other folks are coming prepared for a riot. You'd be a fool not to do the same. Whether you like it or not, there will be riots and attacks. Even if they aren't initiated by the protesters, the police have lots of shiny objects that they rarely get to use so freely. Do you think they will pass up perfect opportunities like this?

Walking around looking like it's just a great big unity-fest won't prevent riots and only makes you a better target. They always go for the low-hanging fruit first. That is all.

My Hair is Better than Yours, So Don't Criticize Me

2011-10-20T15:36:00.004-05:00

I just read an article on Black Girl with Long Hair called "Some People Would Rather Look a 'Hot Mess' Than Go Natural?" from a woman of color who wears her hair natural (without any processed perms or curls). She tells about how she recently got on a bus and had to endure really ugly comments about her tresses from two other women who were seated near her.

Now, since I wear my hair in an afro, when I read that I was feeling indignant for the sister. All of us who live in the USA and wear their hair just as it grows out of our head have experienced this. It's so common that I've lost count of how many times it's happened to me and my daughter. It hurts, but it comes with the territory. It's one of those things that you will have to endure, if you want to be true to how you want to look.

Often, when women with natural hair get together, we talk about it. We comfort and encourage each other. We praise the hair styles that each of us come up with to accentuate our kind of beauty. Doing this really helps. My daughter is a self-confident young lady now and she has lived her whole life as a natural-haired girl, so she has more clever responses than I do when someone says something negative about her coiffure.

However, there's a nasty little secret that some women with natural hair won't admit. When a lot of us get together and talk about how some sister with processed hair made ugly quips about us, it often goes much further than that. I'll tell ya', the conversations almost always turns from praising our beauty to comparing us to them and attempting to reaffirm our decisions by putting down the way that some sisters with processed hair look. And as this article and the majority of the comments shows, it gets really, really nasty.

This time, the writer went on to criticize weaves and women with alopecia and women who dye their hair in vibrant colors. On and on it went, all about how inferior those women are and how their hair proves that we are superior to them. And the folks weren't just talking about our hairstyles being superior to all others. Several of them (and I'm not just referring to a few isolated comments) waxed on about how these hair choices showed that those women don't have the same courage as we have, that they are jealous of us, that they lack confidence. You may have to see it to believe it, but it's all there.

I think that the writer and most people who commented are overlooking the real problem. The problem isn’t how the writer’s hair looked or how the other girls looked. The problem is WOMEN JUDGING EACH OTHER. Until we see that this is a serious problem, there will always be women with perms snickering at women with natural hair and there will be women with natural hair making snide comments about someone’s weave. Criticizing their choices or their hair just as they criticized yours is a bit hypocritical. I think that instead of having a few laughs or rolling our eyes about bad weaves and alopecia–it should be noted that it’s not always the result of anything that the person did to their hair–we should try to figure out what is making BOTH groups think that it’s okay to do this. I don't even have the energy to delve into the classism that's also involved in this.

This makes me so sad for both those with natural hair and those with processed manes and disappointed with us all. The “hot mess” is that both groups do it and then turn around and get mad when it’s done to them. On days like this, it’s just so apparent that sisterhood between black women is truly dead…and maybe people prefer it that way. *sigh*

Why They Say That Being LGBQ is a Choice

2011-10-20T12:47:00.004-05:00

I was on a website today and there was an article about how Herman Cain (one of the Republican wannabe Presidential nominees) is standing firm with his belief that being gay is a choice and is something that can "wash off". Someone on the thread said that they couldn't understand why this rhetoric works. He pointed out that these are the same folks who claim to revere the Constitution and the Declaration of Independence and these are documents that protect, defend, and celebrate the freedom to make choices. His question was: Therefore, even if being gay is a choice, shouldn't these folks also be supportive of people choosing to be gay?

Well, I'll tell you why I think that the "It's a choice" rally cry works. It's because they are just as against choice as they are against nature. When women say, "Yes, everyone should be entitled to make choices about their own body", these same clowns explain what comes after "It's a choice!". At that point, they make it quite clear that you must only choose what THEY think constitutes an acceptable option.

I don't think that the "ick" factor even has much to do with it. You know why? Because the majority of people who engage in behaviors that these fundamentalists go around calling "gay s*x", aren't gay at all. LGBQ people aren't having nearly as much non-vanilla sex as hetero people are. Oh yeah, I know there are a few hetero folks out there who still only do it with their married spouse, missionary style, with the lights off, and their nightclothes still on. But most folks? Not even!

I grew up in a fundamentalist right-wing cult that is among the strictest of the strict and let me tell ya' something? What were most people kicked out of the church for? Sexual sins! It was folks who were simply doing the stuff that homo sapiens enjoy doing. The not-so-secret truth was, you didn't get kicked out for doing the buttsekks and other non-vanilla activities. You got kicked out for letting people find out that you were doing it. It was the appearance of disobedience that gets you in trouble with the clergy.

These fundamentalists are all about appearances. They'll do all the same stuff as everyone else, but they will persecute the hell out of us just to try to appear to be holier or more righteous and pure of heart than the rest of humanity.

Woman is NOT the Nigger of the World

2011-10-05T12:14:00.004-05:00

Today, Latoya Peterson over at Racialicious posted a picture of a young, smiling white woman at the recent Slutwalk NYC event holding up a sign that quoted one of John Lennon's songs. It read, "Woman is the Nigger of the World".

Wow! That picture is...alarming. There are some people whose words tend to crop up in certain environments. A few days ago, some friends and I were laughing about how almost every event that occurs at a stadium in an HBCU starts with "Lift Every Voice". And we spent the next half hour or so listing songs by people of color that could also be perfect for use as a "Black National Anthem".

Lennon seems to be one of those folks that white activists seem to almost instinctively turn to for inspiration. It's cliché to use some of his quotes, but I'm practically a professional at the (over)use of cliché. Unfortunately, the problem with looking to Lennon to find inspiration is that it's really easy to wind up with a situation like the one in that Slutwalk NYC photo.

I can't feel a bit sympathetic toward that hateful person who carried the sign. However, I can see how easy it is for that to happen. White young adults grow up witnessing white self-proclaimed activists waxing nostalgically whenever Lennon is mentioned. He is someone that hipsters can glorify when they want to feel as if they're on the side of the oppressed.

He's one of them. He not someone they'll perceive as threatening or scary. He's a capitalist who sacrificed nothing while holding himself up as some kind of role model. He's a rich white man who went out and got himself an Asian wife and then proceeded to use his relationship with her as a buffer between him and anyone who would challenge his racism. "Woman is the Nigger of the World" is an excellent example of this. Even though he was the one who sang this song, he repeatedly made sure to note that he and Ono wrote the song together.

I just love the way the white interviewer describes criticism of Lennon's racism as "hassling" and how Lennon proudly ignores the people of color who pointed out why this song is disgustingly bigoted. What a class act!

Unfortunately (for people from marginalized communities), it is fairly safe to say that there are no whites among this group who are willing to have honest conversations with white young adults about why pushing Lennon on movements or actions that are supposed to be inclusive is aggressive and oppressive. When they hear and see so very many folks who call themselves "progressive" or "revolutionary-minded" or "feminist" glorifying this particular white man who did nothing for anyone other than himself, is it any wonder that they also follow in his footsteps by oppressing people of color?

If she had created a sign with one of his other quotes, we can be certain that none of the white people around her would have even given her a disapproving look. After all, even the use of this quote on a sign didn't motivate a single white white person in that crowd of hundreds to insist that she stop waving it around and taking pictures with it. Because white people keep acting like Lennon was some kind of friend to the disenfranchised, people of color wind up having to see stuff like this on a regular basis when they try to work with activist groups that are predominantly white.

I keep waiting to see if there will be any white people who claim to be allies of people of color who are willing to say that enough is enough and that whites need to stop pushing Lennon and his words on those who he aggressively oppressed and marginalized. So far, the best we get is the occasional white person who will say that some of Lennon's words are easy to misunderstand.

Wall Street Mocks Protesters By Drinking Champagne

2011-09-30T02:30:00.004-05:00

I swear, I thought this was a satirical video made by The Onion or some such source. That this is real, that they were actually doing this, makes me furious. They might as well have taken out some fiddles and started strumming them, too. Do they really not see that their house is on fire? These folks must want to go down with it, like on the Titanic. There are some people you can't even save from themselves.

My family contains a lot of small business owners, including my father. He taught me that when you're the boss and you have to make an unpopular decision that's going to affect all of your employees, you should maintain a low profile afterward. You know, because you don't want to make the workers so mad that they all quit or feel like maybe they should just steal or sabotage the company in some other way.

I always thought that it was kind of screwed up advice. I felt like it was just dodging workers who had good reason to be pissed off. When I look at it now, it still seems a bit unethical, but at least it makes good BUSINESS sense. I mean, if your goal is just to make money, then getting away with as much as you can is rational.

I looked at this video and all I can think is: This is WHY our economy got so screwed up by them. They may be rich, but they don't even have basic business sense. They are building a house of cards and then jumping up and down all around it. What we see now in the protests was bound to occur, given the sneering arrogance these people don't even try to disguise.

Please, if this disturbs you as much as it does me, then pass this video around. Show it to everyone you know who's struggling to make ends meet right now. Show it to older folks who have been down-sized or are now afraid to leave a really terrible job for fear of becoming permanently unemployed. Show it to your kids, so that they know why solidarity between workers in all fields is vital to thwart the racketeers who have created this kleptocracy.

How The Poor Manage to Survive Month to Month

2011-09-29T01:26:00.006-05:00

PlaySpent.org has an excellent website that shows just what kind of decisions that poor people are required to take in order to survive month to month. It uses a game format. You can make decisions about how to find and qualify for a job and then you have to allocate the money you earn in a month so that it lasts for the entire 30 days. Click on the above link to give it a try. If you manage to get through the month despite poverty, in the game or in real life, I'd love to hear what strategies you use(d).

I wasn't totally shocked that I made it through the end of the month, too. The sad thing is that I knew how to do it, because I've lived it and watched those around me do it. Choosing the right combination of foods is hard as hell, though. My mom insisted that we eat whole wheat bread when we were kids. She said that white bread had no nutritional value. It was more expensive than the white bread, though. So, she saved in other parts of the food budget. She bought unsweetened cereal and a bag of sugar (which could be obtained for almost $0.50 since we live in La.). We sweetened our own cereal. She believed that we should all get some kind of after-school snack, so she'd buy the cheap generic sandwich cookies and each of us four kids were allowed to get four--just four--every afternoon until they ran out.

We lived in a city (New Orleans) that had great public transportation, so even when our raggedy cars broke down, she could still get to work and/or go make groceries. Since it is La. and almost every type of fruit and vegetable can be grown here, because of the fertile soil, she was able to start a food garden and grow gigantic eggplants and greens and tomatoes and bell peppers. She didn't have to invest in soil or fertilizers or pesticides or else I doubt that it would have been feasible. It was also very easy to find other folks who grew stuff and we could trade with them for the stuff that we had too much of (first world kids like us felt like we could only eat so much eggplant without starting a riot at the dinner table).

I don't know how in the hell people who are poor and living in "food deserts" or those without yards to cultivate can possibly survive. I honestly don't know. I have a hunch, though, that a lot of the so-called "inner city crime" is probably connected to the fact that there are folks who simply can not bear to sit and watch their children go hungry. I'm not going to pretend that I'm so ethical that I might not resort to crime if I had to look in my beloved daughter's face and tell her that I didn't have the money for food this week.

The Code and 9/11

2011-09-10T15:15:00.004-05:00

"The Unwritten Codes Muslims Live By" is so much like what I was taught growing up as a woman of color in the southern region of the USA. Police brutality and openly-racist bigotry was an undeniable reality. Sure, we had the legal right to do certain things, but everyone around me knew that certain things were just better avoided if you valued your life. My brothers, my mother, my grandmothers and grandfathers have all experienced discrimination beyond the regular "small things" that people of color are often told they should just overlook. Today, Muslim-Americans of all ethnic backgrounds experience the same kinds of injustices right along with us.

My daughter was barely school-aged when 9/11 happened. She does not even remember a world where it wasn't a factor. I remember, though. I used to be able to ride airplanes without being groped. I remember when I used to be able to receive my subscriptions to magazines written in Arabic without them arriving unsealed and obviously perused. I remember when being in a group of people speaking Arabic didn't elicit openly-hostile looks and comments from on-lookers.

I wonder if VanGoghGirl would be very different from the person she is now, if 9/11 hadn't occurred. I know that living in an environment like this with the family that she has must affect her worldview, but the effects of 9/11 have been so extensive that I don't even know which of her views can be said to be truly unrelated to them. You can't separate the experiences you have as a girl or woman from those you have as a person of color or as a person from a mixed-religious family.

I'm always hearing that "9/11 changed everything^TM". I think it's more accurate to say that 9/11 infected everything.

Why Re-Electing Obama in 2012 Matters to Me

2011-08-15T23:02:00.004-05:00

Right now, Chris Clark has a very insightful post on Faultline, entitled "Why I'm not voting for Obama in 2012". He starts off by talking about the candidates he voted for in prior years, starting with Jimmy Carter. Even though he has disagreed with many of the Democratic nominees, he still voted for many of them. At times, he engaged in strategic voting reasoning that it was at least the "lesser of two evils", but sometimes he reasoned differently.

I haven’t always voted for the lesser of evils. I mean, I did vote for Mondale in ‘84, Dukakis in ‘88, and Kerry in 2004. But when it’s been prudent to do so — for instance, when my adopted state of California was not in play — I voted my conscience, or or at least I did as closely as I could. I voted for Nader in 1992, ‘96 and even 2000. I might have voted differently in 2000 if I hadn’t been living in a state where Gore got a 12-point lead. I don’t know.

He also points out that Nader isn't the reason why Gore wasn't elected. I agree with him there. However, I think our views branch into different directions when he posits that even "1972 Nixon" would be a better Democratic candidate for the 2012 Presidential race than Obama.

It’s a worse choice every single time. Every single time the difference is clear, and every single time both candidates are more loathsome than their counterparts four years previous. How many people reading this wouldn’t vote for 1972 Nixon in a heartbeat as the Democratic candidate in 2012?

Well, as far as I'm concerned, Nader isn't even worthy of consideration given his unabashed racism. Personally, I wouldn't vote for "1972 Nixon" if he was the candidate today, because I feel sick to my stomach when I think about this nation's historical racial imbalance with regards to positions of power.

The reality is that no one who is electable will represent my views, so my only options are to stay home on voting day, vote for someone who hasn't a snowball's chance in hell of getting elected or vote for someone who will carry out policies that I disagree with. I don't see how voting for someone who can not be elected is anything other than a waste of time, so it seems that the only real decision I can make is to stay home or vote for someone I disagree with.

For most of my adult life, I've felt that it was better to stay home than to help put someone into an office knowing that they would engage in activities that I oppose. I'm still not certain that this isn't the most ethical stance to take. However, I started to reconsider my position when I started reading about and contemplating the consequences of neutrality. Even if I stay home, I think I bear a certain amount of responsibility for what the person in office is able to get away with.

So, I wonder if it might be worth voting for someone that I disagree with if I think that they are at least capable of making rational decisions and might be open to listening to what people like me have to say about the direction we want this country to take. History has shown that there is absolutely no reason to believe that voting for white, cis*, non-disabled men will result in revolutionary change. I think that the further we get from that model, the more likely we are to see changes in political policies that will prove to be positive for the communities that I identify with. The only way to find out is by having more people of color, more people with disabilities, more queer-identified people put in office. We've seen what white, cis*, non-disabled men have to offer and I don't see how people like me have anything to gain by continuing down that road.

Obama's term in office has certainly encouraged that view. It has changed the lives of those around me in ways that I didn't even anticipate. It has activated people I know who had never before expressed an interest in politics. I have seen it motivate young black professionals to run for office in Louisiana. I watched as Michelle Obama almost single-handedly changed the way that young black and brown girls in the USA viewed physical education class. Her presence at the side of the President has made it infinitely easier to tell our daughters that brown skin IS beautiful. These are things that electing a 1972 Nixon would not accomplish.

Barack's identity as a mixed-race/mixed-ethnicity person of color gave my child something that every white child in America has been able to take for granted their entire lives: the ability to see someone who looks like her in the White House. The exhilaration and triumph that Irish-Catholic Americans felt when they got to see photos of the Kennedy family eating together, playing together, working together, and just being there now gets to be experienced by families like mine. It changed the way the entire nation eventually felt about the idea of having more Irish-American Presidents.

I suppose if an individual already had what most people of color didn't experience until Obama became President, his re-election might not be a very thrilling prospect. Maybe there isn't much for them to personally feel excited about. I can definitely understand that. However, having witnessed unprecedented positive changes rippling through every facet of my communities, I see many reasons why it would be beneficial for Obama to be re-elected.

I think it also needs to be understood that the first person of color to occupy a role in our society is never a true radical. A truly radical person of color would never have been elected President. Even the self-identified liberals and progressives wouldn't have allowed it. Sadly, it seems that the traits that made Obama electable in the eyes of white America are now the very same ones that many progressives and liberals are unhappy with. I wish that I could explain to some of my loved ones who are white that Obama's role is not to enact the kind of revolutionary policies needed to fix this society. His role is to make it possible for that revolutionary to be accepted by white America. It isn't Paul Robeson that changed the way white American sports-lovers viewed black athletes. It took Jackie Robinson to do that. Robeson was too revolutionary for most of white America to accept, but Robinson was malleable enough to endure the kind of abuse that America requires people of color to tolerate in order to achieve new levels of (begrudging) acceptance. Being anything other than a complete milquetoast and even white liberals and progressives will label a person of color "too angry", "uppity", or a "loose cannon".

In my eyes, Obama is doing exactly what people like me need him to do. We need him to be "Jackie Robinson", so that a "Paul Robeson" can eventually change the problems created over the past few centuries by those who shared more than just superficial traits in common with Nixon.

Cutting Out the Cursive

2011-08-10T01:50:00.002-05:00

Today, I read an article written by a mother who is concerned about the fact that some schools have decided to stop teaching cursive handwriting and replace it with keyboarding lessons. I don't think it's a big deal, but judging from this article and the majority of the responses that it received, lots of folks disagree with me.

There was an interesting point left by a commenter who wrote from the perspective of a left-handed person. I am also a lefty. I don't think most right-handed people understand how cursive writing is designed for them and not us. It is absolutely impossible for a left-handed writer to use the proper form and shape the letters properly in cursive. It's one of the reasons why, in my father's days as a schoolboy, children who were left-handed were often forced to write with their right-hand. Is the nostalgia that some feel about cursive writing really worth continuing this kind of abuse? I'd say no.

My mother-in-law has beautiful handwriting. I mean, she's the person that everyone comes to when they want a sign or poster created for an event. I suffer from rheumatoid arthritis, so I've never been able to match her handwriting skills--I'm not even going to dwell on how ridiculous it is to expect students with mobility issues and other disabilities to attempt to excel in it. Anyway, I once asked her how she learned to write so beautifully and she told me about how she went to Catholic school as a child and the nuns would rap them across the fingers with a wooden ruler whenever they were caught writing with their pencil at the wrong angle. I was shocked!

It seems a little silly to say that a practice that's becoming increasingly outdated (i.e. changing your name when you marry) might be a good reason to hold on to another practice that's already almost completely outdated (i.e. writing in cursive). At one time, it was thought unnecessary to teach girls how to read. After all, teaching them to read would take away from what was considered really important to adults back then: learning how to make jam and darn their husband's socks, grind corn into meal that's just the right size for making griddlecakes, and make sure that every floorboard was properly scrubbed by hand at the end of the day.

At some point, technological advances made it possible for people to get through their day just fine without needing those particular skills. The same thing is happening now. Most teachers realize that cursive writing isn't really practical knowledge and doesn't matter as much as content in today's world. If an English teacher has to read and correct 30 term papers, they need those papers to be typed so that the class can move on to the next assignment in a timely manner.

Students today need to know a lot more than students did a long time ago. Nobody is going to graduate with honors and get into a good university by having great handwriting skills. I don't think that learning how to write in cursive is useless, because I don't think that any knowledge is useless. It's just not practical. If students want to learn it, then I think it's fine for schools to offer it as an elective, just as it's perfectly okay for schools to offer painting classes and embroidery classes as electives. However, we'd be doing them a grave injustice if we sacrificed those lessons that they need, but aren't receiving, just so that we can feel like the world hasn't changed to the point where much of what we learned is irrelevant.

Let's Have an Intelligent Discussion About Grammar Policing on the Internet

2011-08-10T01:05:00.004-05:00

Ironically, I have yet to see a genuine expert in the English language engaging in the policing commonly carried out by those often referred to as "grammar nazis" (see: the definition at UrbanDictionary.com ) on the internet. If a person takes even a few courses in linguistics, they can't avoid the fact that without the violation of supposed "rules of grammar" man can not create poetry. It is the violation of grammatical "rules" that transforms words into art.

Of course, every generation has its share of folks who would dismiss any form of art that is not easily understood within a narrow framework. Dadaism, impressionism, and surrealism (along with many others) all faced the same kind of criticism. Poohbahs derided them all, in the beginning. Then, when the "right sort of people" began to praise it and join in, the poohbahs inevitably jumped on the bandwagon and tried to pass themselves off as expert advocates of it.

This isn't something that one only witnesses in the world of graphic arts. It's just as common in the literary world. How many people here would say that a limerick lacks artistic value? How many would claim that a haiku can't be beautiful or worth pondering? When they are the most creative, neither haikus nor limericks are easy to understand at first glance. That is what makes them art!

I always feel sad when I meet people who can only find beauty in that which is familiar to them. Some of the most exquisite joys I've ever experienced came when I let go of my preconceived notions and embraced something outside of the ordinary and the mundane.

I recently read some articles about how many schools have decided to forgo the teaching of cursive handwriting. It's pretty apparent that there won't be much use for it in the future. In a world that is increasingly digital and tends to value speed more than format, it isn't hard to understand why text-speak has become so common that even reluctant folks (e.g. me) are gradually coming to grips with the fact that complaining about it won't make it go away.

I've never been an early adopter, but I'm still too young and sexy to allow myself to go the way of the dodo bird just because I refused to figure out how to roll with the punches. LOL

Just to Avoid Being Held Responsible

2011-08-05T00:30:00.005-05:00

I'm still seeing arguments about the news story that I mentioned in my last post. Sadly, a significant number of them are making the same preposterous classist and ablist assertions that bothered me yesterday.

The area where I'm from is known as Cancer Alley. For over twenty years, this area has had outrageously high rates of incidence for cancer, including very rare types that most doctors go their entire careers without ever encountering. It's a heavy industrial area that produces enough air pollution that it strips the finish off of cars in the area.

Should people who have developed cancer due to the carelessness of others just suck it up and move on? And the idea that in this life you have to work hard is utter nonsense. I live a much better life than the average person who gets cancer down here in Cancer Alley. Does that mean I worked harder those who don't have what I have?

What about personal responsibility? Why are so many people afraid of it? To me, that is a much bigger issue than the idea that there are people in the world who want things handed to them. Those folks mainly ruin and waste their own lives through sloth. However, people that run around behaving carelessly and believing that they shouldn't be held responsible for their actions pose a threat to those around them, too.

Because of people who are essentially self-centered and self-absorbed, other folks wind up with a lower quality of life, a diminished ability to earn a living, and sometimes we even die. And our willingness to work hard couldn't prevent us from being affected by people who spend their time being impressed with themselves.

My hubby was working for a delivery company 60+ hours a week and going to school full-time in the honors program, majoring in Electrical Engineering. He worked hard to care for a disabled wife, our child, and to pay for school. One day, he was delivering a package and the homeowner decided to let his dog out of the house when he went to get the box. The dog promptly attacked my hubby and when he went down, he hit his head on the side of his delivery truck and then on the ground. He was knocked unconscious and sustained a traumatic brain injury (TBI) as a result of hitting his head.

As soon as he was out of the hospital, he tried to continue working, even though he was still healing from his wounds. We desperately needed his income. We weren't on any government programs; we had no welfare check or food stamps or childcare vouchers. We were just a working class family, barely eking out a living and trying to improve our circumstances through education.

Those who love to claim that folks who sue others are just looking for a way to get out of working hard can feel free to explain how we were being lazy or sue-happy when we were forced to deal with the fact that my husband now has significant loss of ability to remember things and a spine with crushed vertebrae. He had to quit school and he couldn't keep his position at work because it required a level of functioning that even the company agreed he no longer had, as a result of the attack.

It's really easy to defame individuals with disabilities when you can only see yourself in the eyes of the person(s) who caused the damage. However, is it really so hard to give the damaged person the same benefit of the doubt that these folks provide to those who caused it?

This is an issue of social justice. If someone ruined that doctor's hands, do you really think that he'd just give up the career that he's worked hard for and the earning potential that he had and just move on with his life? That's just laughable to think about! He'd sue the pants off of the individual who damaged him. And his social status makes him nearly immune to the kind of criticism leveled at poorer people who seek justice.

Anyone who thinks that there is some pervasive phenomenon where folks are using lawsuits to get rich without working obviously have no first-hand experience with the subject they're talking about. It took nearly FIVE YEARS just to get the dog owner's insurance company to pay for my husband's medical bills.

When their lawyers were trying to make claims about how much his injury cost him in earning potential, their calculations didn't include what he would have been making as an engineer. They didn't even include how much he made in over-time each week--that alone constituted more than a third of our income at the time of the attack.

If he and I didn't have well-to-do relatives who could dole out money to us each month, we would have become homeless. Does that sound like fun to y'all? Do y'all really think that this was an easy way to live? If so, you are seriously deluded.

Taking responsibility for your actions is what ethical/moral people do. Making others pay for your carelessness is cruel and contributes to the degradation of society. If you hurt someone, then you shouldn't even force them to go through the suing process. Unfortunately, suing is often the only recourse that exists because there are increasingly large segments of society (folks with the attitude that some are exhibiting here) who will do anything--that includes blaming the victim--to avoid taking responsibility for their actions.

Responsibility is not the same as Blame

2011-08-04T01:32:00.002-05:00

I saw this post today that was written by a fellow person with disabilities. It pissed me off to no end. It's about a woman, named Halina Jane Gillet, who now lives with Erb's Palsy, because of the actions of the doctor who delivered her. Unfortunately, this blog post reveals a certain lack of empathy that is rather disappointing to see. She writes,

For such a case to even be possible, proceedings must begin before the child reaches 21. Now 25, Halina’s case began 5 years ago, with just enough time to scrape into the time constraints.

Now, I’m not saying that Halina’s life hasn’t been hard, and that what happened to her could’ve been prevented, but I do think that sometimes things in life ‘just happen’ and maybe her life was meant to be this way. And I don’t think taking down a well respected Professor will make her injury go away. Sure, it’ll make things easier financially for her, if she is successful, but I don’t think that what she is doing is right.

It doesn't matter why she decided to do it now. Perhaps, she's just starting to see how much her disability will affect her earning ability or quality of life for the next half of a century.

If a mechanic caused damage to you car, you'd hold him liable for the results of his shoddy work, wouldn't you? If a seamstress didn't properly sew the stitches on your pants and they fell off of you while you're on speaking on stage, would you just say that it was all "meant to be" and let it go at that while pictures of you in your bare panties floated around the internet for the rest of your life?

It's very sad to see people with disabilities so critical of one another instead of supporting our sister. How much damage should a doctor be able to cause without being held responsible? He screwed up. Holding him responsible is not being mean or greedy or unreasonable.

How "well-respected" he is is irrelevant. Well-respected people are just as capable of inflicting harm as anyone else. Is his life somehow more important than hers? What if someone damaged HIS arm? That would certainly impact HIS ability to carry out the duties associated with his career. This isn't looking for someone to blame and it's awful to hear someone make this kind of claim.

There's a world of difference between blame and responsibility. Even if no one ever blamed him, his actions are still the reason why she is disabled today. You're free to take a "meant to be" attitude when it comes to YOUR body, but it's pretty awful to tell someone else what they should be willing to put up with.

My Queer Positions

2011-08-03T23:44:00.003-05:00

I found a link on the Facebook page of a much-beloved social justice activist named Kay Olsen.
On it, there was a quote:

Some will read “queer” as synonymous with “gay and lesbian” or “LGBT.” This reading falls short. While those who would fit within the constructions of “L”, “G”, “B”, or “T” could fall within the discursive limits of queer, queer is not a stable area to inhabit. Queer is not merely another identity that can be tacked onto a list of neat social categories, nor the quantitative sum of our identities. Rather, it is the qualitative position of opposition to presentations of stability—an identity that problematizes the manageable limits of identity. Queer is a territory of tension, defined against the dominant narrative of white-hetero-monogamous-patriarchy, but also by an affinity with all who are marginalized, otherized, and oppressed. Queer is the abnormal, the strange, the dangerous. Queer involves our sexuality and our gender, but so much more. It is our desire and fantasies and more still. Queer is the cohesion of everything in conflict with the heterosexual capitalist world. Queer is a total rejection of the regime of the Normal.

It was taken from a manifesto called "Toward the Queerest Insurrection"

Perhaps, this will help people understand why I am not jumping for joy each time I hear that gay marriage has been legalized somewhere. Fighting for "marriage equality" is fighting to be included in an elitist institution. "Marriage equality" is not a social justice issue. "Marriage equality" postulates that elites within gay and lesbian communities deserve to be able to participate in and contribute to the marginalization of those whose relationships the government has deemed unworthy of the benefits accorded to married people (e.g. couples that include trans* folks, people with disabilities, polyandrous/polygynous househoulds).

Dear Rainbow Eucalyptus

2011-07-13T17:53:00.012-05:00

I call bullshit. I think you've had work done.

Janet Mock is a Woman Because She Knows She's a Woman

2011-07-08T15:58:00.003-05:00

About two weeks ago, Afrobella got an exclusive interview with Janet Mock (The Afrobella Inverview--Janet Mock). She's the woman of color who recently had a feature in Marie Claire magazine called "I Was Born a Boy". The interview was wonderful. My hair type is a lot different from Ms. Mock, so many of her beauty tips don't apply to me, but her graceful and determined attitude absolutely inspired me just as it did when I read the article in Marie Claire.

I read through the comments on Afrobella and they were, for the most part, really respectful. However, my mood soured a bit when I read what one commenter wrote.

"I think this story is nice and Janet is very beautiful! Her hair is amazing! However, as a woman of God I must ask the question…When a person decides to change their gender,isn’t that saying God was wrong when HE created you? Do not get me wrong I’m not saying she’s the devil oh her soul is doomed…etc..etc. I just want to know what people think."

It really bothered me for several reasons. I didn't like the fact that she posed this question to other cis* commenters, instead of directing it to the person she was talking about. Secondly, I am not sure what God she's referring to, but I do know that that term "woman of God" is used almost exclusively by people in Christendom. I've read the Bible and see nothing that legitimizes her claim that she has to question anyone's gender or relationship with their Creator. Lastly, the "I'm not saying she's the devil.." part irked my nerves. Why even bring that up if that's NOT what you're implying?

Of course, I responded. Being a person of faith, I wanted to express my view so that anyone who read through it wouldn't be led to believe that the views of the commenter represented the thoughts of everyone who also consider themselves people of faith. I'm blogging my comment, because it's something that I'd like others who don't visit Afrobella to understand.

God made our bodies. He did not make our gender. Gender is a social construct, like race. Some Black women have café au lait-colored skin and others have dark mocha-colored skin and some have skin the color of bittersweet chocolate. Yet all are Black. Likewise, some women are trans and some women are cis. It's no denial of God to recognize that not all women look the same nor do all men look the same.

It's not the body parts that make a person a man or a woman. If it was, then what do we call someone without a uterus or without breasts? Would not having these parts mean you're not a woman? What if you have MORE parts than what most people expect a woman to be born with? I have three nipples. Yeah, that's right. I said THREE. Now, here's where it gets even more complicated: Due to cancer, I had chest surgery. It left me with one complete breast and about half of one on the other side.

Well, what does that make me? The answer is: It doesn't make me anything. I am a woman regardless of what my body looks like. My body needn't conform to how some people think that a woman should appear. No matter what anyone else has to say about my body (e.g. "That looks disgusting!"; "How did you get those fat keloid scars across your chest?"; "If I had to go through all of that, I'd kill myself!"), I am a woman and God loves me for who I am, not because of what gender I consider myself or because of what my body looks/looked like at some point in my life.

The same is true of Ms. Mock. She's a woman, because she knows she's a woman. During the period of slavery in America, the womanhood of people of color was denied, because of how we looked. We weren't white and, in the eyes of the ruling majority, that meant we didn't have what it takes to be considered real women. They didn't even consider us people! They even used the Bible as justification for this view.

But WE always knew what and who we were. It took a long time for this society to accept what we already knew. Eventually it became apparent that their self-serving interpretation of the Bible was bogus. If history is any clue, we are now in a period where people who identify as trans* are taking the same steps that people of color had to take to in order to be acknowledged for what and who we were.

I'm saddened that some of our sisters are still forced to fight for their right to call themselves women. I know one thing for sure, in the Bible, Jesus was ALWAYS on the side of the downtrodden and oppressed. I don't think I could call myself a follower of Jesus or a woman of God if I didn't take the same stance and stand in support alongside our sisters who are trans.

Geert Wilder's Hate Speech in Tennessee Mega-Church

2011-05-26T16:11:00.004-05:00

Today, LoonWatch posted an exposé of the infamous Islamophobe/xenophobe Geert Wilder as he uses a church to preach against the Declaration of Independence's guarantees of "life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.

I am so-oo-oo very thankful for the last two minutes of that video. Otherwise, I think that hearing such hate-speech and incitement to kill would have made it very difficult to enjoy my day. Instead, I was left with hope. The power of peaceful resistance will always be stronger than the forces of hatred. Fighting AGAINST something will never be more sustainable than working FOR something. The struggle for social justice for all people has never been more powerful, which is why all of the haters are doubling down their efforts. It's Custer's Last Stand all over again.

The Attack of Chrissy Polis

2011-04-25T22:13:00.004-05:00

My stomach is staging a revolt. I'm in a foul mood and reading about the beating of Chrissy Polis, a trans-gender woman who was beaten in the dining area of a McDonald's Restaurant in Maryland, certainly didn't improve it. The thing that pisses me off about that is the fact that I just happened to hear about this while reading about something else. It wasn't in the news at all.

I hate what happened to her. Those two deserve to face jail time for what they did. In fact, I really feel like jail isn't enough, because nothing compares to the harm that they inflicted on Ms. Polis.

At the same time, I don't think that everyone watching had a responsibility to come between her and these two criminals. A couple of years ago, I lost a relative who was shot down in cold blood while attempting to help a woman who was being beaten. There are valid reasons why many people will not come between people fighting, especially in a violent, trigger-happy country where so many folks are armed with guns.

The McDonald's workers are not security officers nor should they be expected to act as if they are. These folks are mostly minimum wage workers without paid leave or health insurance. If they get beat down, who'll care for them? Who's going to feed their families? McDonald's should provide professional security to deal with these kinds of situations. Instead, they just leave it to a bunch of low-wage earners with no job security and no training on how to deal with this kind of situation.

I think that the guy who taped it should be fired, because he was not being paid to make amateur videos while on the clock. He's an asshole for gleefully posting this horrible incident. I don't know how I'd deal with knowing that so many people saw me being viciously violated. I do hope that the video can at least be used by Chrissy to prove what happened to her, because the criminal justice system is notorious for ignoring and minimizing crimes reported by transgender women.

The one who advised the criminals to flee the scene should be fired, because he was aiding and abetting their actions. Actually, I think that he deserves to have a lot more happen to him than just being fired. I wish him nothing more or less than the karma he has earned.

However, I'm not sure that I believe the rest of the workers who didn't jump in did something unethical. Assuming that everyone who witnessed it could have jumped in is really problematic. The fact that you work at McDonald's doesn't mean that you are necessarily in a position to stop a crime that's being perpetrated in front of you.

It would be admirable if someone did step in and help. I'm pretty sure that I would have, if I could. The woman in white who did her best to get those attackers off of Chrissy did what I think I could have done on a day that my disabilities weren't affecting me a lot. Of course, even with my disabilities, I can better afford to do that (i.e. step in) then these workers could. Pitting marginalized people (minimum wage workers) against other marginalized people (trans-gender women) allows privileged people to avoid responsibility for the plight of both groups.

If owners of a restaurant can get away with paying their workers less than a living wage, should they also be allowed to force them to serve as an unpaid security force, too? The owners had a responsibility to protect their customers. Chrissy deserved to be safe in that establishment. The owners had a responsibility to make sure that people who come there don't get beaten to death. And that's what could have happened, by the way. Epilepsy still kills lots of people. Being kicked in the head is enough to kill anyone. Being kicked in the head when you already have a history of epilepsy is very likely to kill you. That seems exactly like what these two attackers were attempting to do and I hope the criminal justice system will treat them as attempted-murderers. Most of all, I hope that Chrissy Polis will never have to go through this again.

Les Couleurs de Vie

2011-04-09T01:12:00.004-05:00

I might be biased--okay, I know I'm biased--but I think my family happens to be more than a little bit attractive, as families go. We're multi-ethnic and we come in all shades. Among my cousins and siblings, there are some who are as brown as dark chocolate and others with no more than a bit of peach tint to their skin. My oldest brother is very fair and golden. His hair was reddish when he was born, but has darkened into a medium-to-dark brown now that he's an adult. He has always had freckles on his face and he gets even more if he spends any time outside without sunscreen. My younger brother and I are the exact same color as a caramel candy. My youngest brother is the color of honey, golden brown.

For several reasons, the lightness/darkness of my family tends to alternate each generation. My mother and her siblings were mostly pale to light brown in color. Their children mostly range from light brown to dark brown. This latest generation is really, really pale for the most part. My oldest brother, who was the lightest of all my mother's children, has three sons and two of them are milk chocolate. The rest of the kids café au lait to what would be generous to describe as barely peach. The youngest of my nieces and nephews has blond hair and blue eyes, like his mother. That kid is going to burn to a crisp if they don't teach him to wear sun-block!

I remember being a child and drawing lots of pictures. There were lots of projects in elementary school where the teacher would have us take out our crayons and draw our families at dinner, during the holidays, playing outside, et cetera. It would have been nice to be able to color my family so that it actually looked like my family and not just some random group of people standing next to each other.

If you were using the basic pack of markers, mixing them together (in an attempt to create a color close to what I needed) just turned into muddy-looking blotches. Crayons were a little bit better when it comes to blending colors, but not by much. The waxy base made it possible to do some color mixing on a piece of paper, but nothing consistent enough to form a definite shade. It seemed that they really weren't designed to be layered or combined. That meant everyone in my family had to be depicted as dark brown or black or not colored at all.

As this article points out, Crayola did offer a variety of flesh-colored crayons in its 64 count pack. However, those crayons were really thin and little kids generally don't have the dexterity to use them without accidentally snapping them in half, so our first few elementary school teachers wouldn't let us bring them to class. I remember being really excited when the teacher's list of school supplies said that we'd be using the box of 64 crayons. I organized and re-organized the crayons in a million different ways. They were great! You could depict all sorts of things with those added shades and colors. They made it a lot easier to portray objects and people exactly how you wanted them to look. It took away the frustration and limitations that went along with trying to depict an overwhelmingly diverse world, mostly filled with non-white people, using only 8 dull colors.

My daughter, VanGoghGirl, is multi-ethnic/multi-racial. When she was young and we were having a conversation about skin color, she said that I was brown, but she was "brownge". I asked her what "brownge" was and she said "It's kinda brown and kind of orangey, too". I thought that explanation was adorable and very accurate. She knew that we do look alike in many ways, but her skin is different from mine. She loved her own tone and wanted to find the perfect way to describe herself.

Unfortunately, there was no "brownge" crayon or marker for her to use. Now Crayola has come out with a new product line. They are calling it their "Multicultural Colors". They come in packs with eight different flesh-toned colors. These markers would have been great for my "brownge" little girl. It's sad that there are folks who think that this product is just to appease "liberals". It denigrates the needs of the majority of children and asserts that loving the body that the Creator gave them is essentially worthless and laughable.

Mothers with More than one "Baby Daddy" are Ruining Their Kid's Lives?

2011-04-02T19:41:00.003-05:00

Times magazine has an article about a study that examined the phenomenon of women having children with more than one man. It's interesting, but it does bother me how it focuses on women as if they are more to blame than men. After all, these women aren't impregnating themselves. Besides, this domino effect doesn't just apply to women. There are plenty of men out there with children from more than one mother.

When my own bio-dad left the four of us kids and divorced our mom, she stayed single for eight years. Then she married a man whose wife had left him with their eight kids. Their marriage provided the twelve children with more stability than either family had prior to that. The two of them never had children together, but if they did, it would have been totally okay with me. These were adults who were serious about the "'til death do us part" promise in their first marriages, but both wound up with mates who didn't feel the same way.

Twelve children from prior relationships that didn't work out might look pretty bad on paper, but I think it should be remembered that this was all the result of decisions made by two people (the spouses who left). If my mom and step-dad did make kids with each other, it would have qualified as a "domino dad" family. However, that domino-dad effect wouldn't represent a loss of family stability. It would have been a sign of more family stability, because it means that children who were growing up without one of their parents now had a chance to live in an environment with two parents who loved them.

The same has been true for me and The German. He's not our daughter's biological father, but he's been her father from since she was a toddler. She has her bio-dad's last name, but she usually prefers not to tell people that she isn't The German's biological daughter. And The German never did call her his step-anything. From the time that I allowed him to meet her, he stepped in and did all of the things that a father is supposed to do. Even if he and I had just remained friends, he was determined that she wouldn't be a child without a stable father figure in her life.

Sometimes, I think that how he treated VanGoghGirl was what made me fall in love with him. My parents and my brothers were fiercely protective of me and her. Instead of criticizing them or going against what they thought was best, The German joined right in with them. He always followed whatever rules my family set for him.

I remember when he was remodeling my parent's house and it was time for him to work on the upstairs jack and jill bathroom that was between my room and my brothers' room. It was his first time coming up the stairs at our house. He'd never even tried to come upstairs when I wasn't home. He wouldn't even go upstairs to my brothers' room. When they wanted him to play video games with him, they had to bring everything downstairs and play in the den because he didn't even want to give the appearance that he'd dare try to bend the rules. He's the first guy that everyone in my very large extended family approved of.

VanGoghGirl has always expressed her wish that me and The German would have a child together, so that she could grow up with a sibling instead of being an only child. She'd love for us to have a "domino-dad" family. So, there are lots of ways of looking at this study. Having a "domino-dad" family isn't necessarily a bad thing.

I'm also curious about how many different fathers did most of the "domino-dad" families have. If the average "domino-dad" family only involves two fathers, then we really aren't talking about a situation where mothers have "different men cycle in and out". Instead of a cycle, it would be more like a single step.

From Black Children in Pain to the Adults They Could (Have) Become

2011-03-23T06:29:00.005-05:00

Lord knows this Jalen Rose and Grant Hill controversy (and this blog post) cuts me deeper than I can probably explain. New Orleans, where I'm from, is the ultimate case study in the effects of class, color, and cultures within the black community. I come from a family where one side has been college-educated for several generations on one side and the other side consisted of property-owning entrepreneurs who were direct descendants of French aristocrats. However, because of the rejection of social privilege, I also come from folks who know what it's like to be poor--really poor. Well, not so poor that we didn't all grow up in homes owned by our parents, but compared to some of the girls I around me we were practically paupers.

We're a mixture of several different ethnic groups, so the folks in my family range from passe blanc to creamy caramel in color and most have that wavy hair that some folks seem to think is preferable to the naps that (I am proud to say) my hair can achieve. It was mostly a non-issue between us, but there were significant exceptions. Because the folks in my family can be so light in color, I grew up thinking that I was very dark-skinned. The German and VanGoghGirl still say that I have very skewed views about my skin-color and they've provided enough examples that I'm inclined to believe that they might be right.

From as far back as I can remember, my brother (who is usually referred to as "high-yellow" in color) used to taunt me with the song "Baa! Baa! Black Sheep". I'm pretty sure that my self-perception issues have at least a little to do with that. When I became an adult, I asked him about why he used to do that to me. He said it was because he was insecure about his color as a result of all the teasing he experienced at the hands of others.

I wish I had known that back then. Maybe we could have spent those years developing coping strategies instead of fueling self-hatred and perpetuating the stereotypes that were used against us. Maybe Grant Hill and Jalen Rose need to grow the hell up and start behaving like adults capable of analyzing their own behavior and not like kids lashing out at other children who are also experiencing just as much pain.

From Hurricanes to Tsunamis With my Sister

2011-03-22T02:44:00.005-05:00

Several years ago, my family "adopted" a young adult from Japan who had moved to our city (New Orleans) without any relatives or friends in this country. She became my sister. I've mentioned her here in the past, using her nickname: Neko-chan.

She's lived with us, celebrated with us, cried with us...She even helped care for me when I was going through my cancer treatments. She was here when Hurricane Katrina struck. Afterward, before I could even get there, she arrived at our parents house to help clean out the hurricane damaged interior and collecting whatever family heirlooms and keepsakes that could be salvaged. Hurricane Katrina was one of the hardest ordeals I've ever faced. We knew people who lost their homes, people who had to beg for food and went without until the government finally decided to help, and even people who died. I don't know what I would have done if I hadn't had my sister there by my side.

My sister and I pause to let The German
take a picture of us while cleaning out the house.

Now, her home country is going through an even bigger disaster and it has devastated her. Fortunately, her family over there is safe for the time being, but of course she has friends, acquaintances and former colleagues who are still unaccounted for. It kills me that I can't go through this with her and feel her pain as acutely as she does. I feel as if I owe it to her to do for her family all of the things that she has done for us here.

My Planned Parenthood Story

2011-02-20T00:47:00.003-06:00

So, Republicans have voted to de-fund Planned Parenthood. Their specious claim is that they are doing it because they care about black babies and Planned Parenthood is supposedly singling them out for extermination. No, I'm not even kidding. They actually said this stuff.

If it wasn't for Planned Parenthood, I might not have had my baby. When I thought I was pregnant, it was the only place where I could go and see a doctor to find out for sure. They also provided me with my first gynecological exam. When I told them that I wasn't comfortable with having an abortion, but I didn't know what I was going to do, the nurse there gave me the best "You can do this!" pep speech I have ever received. She told me that if I really wanted to have this baby that I wasn't as hopeless and clueless as I felt. She told me just what to do next to get pre-natal care. I left there with everything I needed to start my pregnancy off right. Thanks to them, I have my wonderful and precious daughter that I dote on every single day--as if you've missed all the bajillion blog posts I've written about how amazing I think she is.

My point is that folks who believe or claim that Planned Parenthood is all about abortions are just plain ignorant. They are truly about empowering women and filling in the gaps that leave many women without health care.

Texas School District Caves in to Demands for Less Well-Rounded Education

2011-02-10T13:20:00.003-06:00

Have you heard about the ridiculous hoopla surrounding one Texas school district's plan to add Arabic to the languages that students would have the opportunity to be exposed to? It should be noted that, even as conservative and slow to embrace change we are down here in Louisiana, this has never happened at any of the schools that offer Arabic to students.

English is NOT our country's first language, which is a fact that these Texans would know if they actually had a decent education herself. There are plenty of languages that are much more American than English could ever be. Even Spanish is more American than English and French, but anyone who pointed that out to these rabble-rousers would probably cause their brains to go into grand-mal seizures.

My daughter goes to one of the top high schools in the nation. Her school offers an abundance of languages for the children to choose from. For those languages that don't have an available teacher, but still have many students interested in learning it, there are clubs sponsored by teachers and aided by parents and community members who are willing to teach the kids. My daughter takes Latin (since she learns Arabic at home with me).

We first found out about the school's program years ago when the kids from the school's Arabic program had a booth at our city's International Festival. They were writing people's names in Arabic in exchange for a donation to club. They were really, really good. I spoke to their teacher who amazed me with her dedication to providing the children with a proper education in modern Arabic and a basic education about classic Arabic.

Some of these kids got job offers right out of high school! Several of my daughter's friends have already moved on to Ivy League schools. Language skills ensure that these children won't be hit as hard by recessions and tight job markets like we see today. When you know more than one language, you aren't restricted by what jobs are available in a single place.

Fortunately, people like the complaining parents in this Texas school district are making themselves irrelevant. Those who spurn education will always end up being the underlings of those who embrace it. We see this happening all around America right now. They just ensuring that any kids they have will end up working for the kids from schools like the one my daughter attends.

Gotta Cover Their Tracks, I Guess

2011-02-03T23:56:00.001-06:00

What If Cameras Were Banned From the Delivery Room?

This makes me so MAD. To avoid responsibility for their errors, they want to make sure that no proof of it exists. I have a grandmother who can't walk very far. This means that she can't be with the women in our family when we do lots of things together. She gets left out of anything that can't be done at her house. She won't leave my grandfather's side and he's in decline and afraid to be home alone. So, we videotape A LOT. Videotaping and picture-taking are one way that we keep our disabled family members involved in everything that goes on, even if they can't be there.

If I one of my sisters-in-law had another baby and their hospital had this rule, I'd do everything in my power to get them to switch to some place else, because it's a good sign that this hospital doesn't have much confidence in their doctors.

Egypt is an Example for All Believers

2011-02-03T19:33:00.007-06:00

Oh, merciful God! I don't know if I can stop myself from crying. I'm not sure if it's because of how atrocious and horrifying it is to see people who have so little respect for God that they would throw rocks at people who are praying or if it's because of how faith-affirming it is to see the taqwa of religious Egyptian Christians and Muslims (who worship the same God) in the midst of all these thugs Mubarak has unleashed on the country.

"A beautiful moment captured by one photographer in Egypt: Christians grabbing hands to form a human shield around Muslim protesters as they take a break to honor the call to prayer."

My American Christian sisters and brothers, this is what true Christianity looks like: standing with the oppressed, even when the stakes couldn't be higher.

"Greater love has no man than this, that a man lay down his life for his friends."
John 5:13

“O you who believe! Fear Allah as He ought to be feared and do not die except as believers. And hold fast, all together, by the rope which Allah (stretches out for you), and be not divided among yourselves; and remember with gratitude Allah's favour on you; for ye were enemies and He joined your hearts in love, so that by His Grace, ye became brethren; and ye were on the brink of the pit of Fire, and He saved you from it.”
Surah al 'Imran 102 & 103

"The fear of the LORD is the beginning of wisdom; all who follow His precepts have good understanding. To Him belongs eternal praise."
Psalms 111:10

The Price of Pet Companionship

2011-01-26T19:40:00.001-06:00

Researchers warn against allowing pets to give you kisses and sleep in your bed.

Well, I have systemic lupus and cancer. Both of these severely weaken one's immune system. I also have two cats who sleep in our beds and I have NEVER caught anything from them. I'm glad that they are in my life, because having pets will ensure that you don't spend the entire day in bed. Even when I was in acute pain from my chest surgeries and the last thing I wanted to do was move any part of my body, I still got up and made sure the cats got fed and the litter box was cleaned. When I was almost completely bed-bound, they would jump up on the bed and just hang out with me for the majority of the day. I can't even explain how much their companionship helped me, once my partner had to go back to work and my daughter was at school.

Even if I did catch something from them, I'd consider it a small price to pay for all that they have added to my life.

The Arizona Shooting From A Schizophrenic's Perspective

2011-01-15T15:03:00.005-06:00

*sigh*
As someone who lives with schizophrenia, it's quite apparent to me that Jared Loughner also has it. I've been keeping my mouth shut about this whole affair, but I must admit that I do feel a great deal of sympathy for him when I think about the fact that this whole thing might have been avoided if we had better health care resources in this country and this young man could have received the sort of help that he obviously needed. I'm really, really blessed to have an excellent and loving support system that helps to keep me grounded during those times when I need it. I've never hurt anyone, even when my condition was at its worst (my symptoms are generally only brought on by certain medications), but I can't help thinking,

"There but for the grace of God, go I."

I have no illusions about what's going to happen to Loughner. In all likelihood, his mental state will not be considered when his sentence is handed down--and make no mistake about it, this guy will be found guilty. It's a shame though, because locking him up or even executing him will do nothing to prevent incidents like this from happening again.

Most people with schizophrenia don't hurt anyone. We often end up being a danger to ourselves, but few ever go out and harm others. However, the recent Arizona shooting shows that this doesn't really matter to most people.

When we are dirty, homeless, and mentally declining, we are laughed at and avoided or ignored and despised. When we are found dead on the streets or in some god-forsaken shelter, we are usually pitied and then forgotten. But, when our mental state abrades the orderly functions of (neuro-typical) society, suddenly there is outrage. People become indignant about the fact that folks like us are allowed to walk the streets. Well, whose fault is it that so many schizophrenics are to be found walking the streets? Are all of us out there because we want to be? Are all of us dealing with untreated symptoms by choice?

Do you want to know why the Arizona shooting occurred? It's because we are living in a society where people refuse to take responsibility for the well-being of their fellow citizens. Lately, there have been a lot of folks who seem to think that having a society where we all just take care of our own needs sounds like a pretty nifty idea. Okay, fine. However, you really can't complain when someone who you think is "not quite sane" starts believing that what they need is to blow something up or fire their gun, sending a spray of bullets across a room full of people. That's the price of not giving a damn about anyone but yourself.

Islamophobia in New Jersey's Foster Care System

2010-12-21T16:57:00.004-06:00

In New Jersey, an employee of the state is alleged to have verbally assaulted a Muslim man (and his female dinner partner) in a restaurant, calling him a "terrorist" and an "Osama bin Ladin lover", along with several other xenophobic, racist, and Islamophobic insults. What makes matters even worse is that this state employee was an agent of New Jersey's Division of Youth and Family Services and the person he was assaulting was a parent in one of the cases he is assigned to handle.

The article on NBC's website also mentioned the fact that the state placed Mohamad Khalil's son in a Christian home where he is being raised with "Christian cultural values". The Council for American-Islamic Relations pointed out that this is not an isolated incident and that there are many cases where the state has also done this with other Muslim children.

You know, I don't understand why people feel like they should be allowed to go around converting other people's kids. Even if the state of New Jersey's Division of Youth and Family Services couldn't find enough Muslim foster homes to place all of the Muslim children in their care--and I'm not so sure that if proper effort were put forth, this would be the case--is it really too much to insist that families agree to respect the religious faith of the child and the child's family?

Children can end up in foster care for many different reasons. Being removed from whatever situation they were in before is often overwhelming enough without adding the stress of trying to adapt to a foreign religion, at the same time. Foster parents need to understand that they are simply being entrusted with looking after a child's basic care, not their eternal salvation. If you can't deal with allowing a child to practice their own religion in your home, then you probably shouldn't be a foster care provider.

When the state shows such little regard for the children in its care, is it really any surprise that we see an agent of this same system behaving like this towards a parent who simply wants to raise their child? Yet, we're supposed to believe that these agents of the state really want to keep families intact, whenever possible. Yeah, right!

I Can't Even Say What I Want to Tell This Woman

2010-12-08T14:51:00.003-06:00

Teabagger Kate O'Beirn thinks that we should end the school lunch program and that any parent who can't "rustle up a bowl of cereal and a banana" for their child is criminally negligent.

Could someone please tell this waste of carbon that school lunches are a public health concern? Hungry, malnourished children are more susceptible to diseases. Having an entire subset of the population that is going hungry AND can't get health care represents a danger to EVERYONE. And, let me tell ya', if things get bad enough, people with money shouldn't be too sure that the poor won't rise up and do what the French did.

I like living in my comfy, well-heated home with the stocked pantry that I can look through and still go to McDonald's if I feel like it. I love my pretty daughter and buying her pretty clothes for various social events. Even if I didn't give a dern about other people's children--I do care, but this is for the sake of example--it would still make sense for me to at least ensure those kids had enough to eat each day. Hunger is enough to make any person irrational and irrational people don't care about my suburban comforts.

Dear Gott in Himmel, Why Won't These People Go Away Already?

2010-12-08T09:43:00.005-06:00

As soon as I see Hamsher on anything, I turn it off. Evidently, I'm not the only one who has figured out that this fool is utterly clueless.

Anyone who has spent any amount of time on FireDogLake knows that it has always been hostile to people of color. It doesn't surprise me one bit that she has this indefensible position. They want the President to fix all the problems of the world, but any incremental changes he makes are met with complaints that he's not doing enough, fast enough.

It all boils down to the fact that her and her ilk never support candidates of color who think for themselves. I mean, this is the same person whose blog regularly posts and defends the use of racist pictures. They truly believe that they are the ones who put Obama in office and now he owes it to them to make their petulant, petty whims come true all at once. This President is not their dancing monkey and the world isn't going to worship at the feet of Hamsher like her sycophant co-bloggers do.

The average Americans, be they Democrats or Republicans, have no idea who these talking-heads are nor do they care what their opinions may be. We just want to get through these hard times as best as we can. All those people counting on their Earned Income Tax Credit just to pay for an old car to get around in or new shoes for their kids have absolutely nothing in common with these self-aggrandizing jerks. The idea that they know what the average American wants from the President is simply laughable.

Woman w/stroller Cries Because She Was Forced Out of Wheelchair Space

2010-12-07T19:00:00.004-06:00

So, last week in Ottawa, a woman with a stroller was forced to get off of a bus, because she was taking up the space designated for people with wheelchairs and someone in a wheelchair needed the space. Some folks are grumbling about it.

I have no problem with her being told to get off if she's taking up the space designated for wheelchairs. It sounds like the driver wasn't being a jerk, because he allowed the stroller-users to take up the space for as long as it wasn't needed for someone who is supposed to have it available to them. When that space became needed, it was only appropriate for it to be emptied in favor of the person who it was designed for. Even then, it doesn't seem like he just had a thing against women with kids in strollers, because his decision allowed the woman with two kids to stay on.

If the bus driver had been a jerk, he could have kept her off the bus in the first place, because there wasn't enough room for her to get on without taking up the wheelchair-designated spot. She'd have had to take the next bus anyway. His decision to let her ride as long as the space wasn't needed seems fair to me, because if her trip had been shorter, then she might have been able to get off and on without anyone else ever needing that spot.

In New Orleans, a large portion of the population used public transportation. I've ridden as a person with disabilities and I've ridden as a mother with a child in a stroller. In fact, I did it for a couple of years, five days a week, twice a day. Down here, it was illegal to leave your stroller in the aisle, so you had to be able to put it between your seat and the seat in front of you or in the area reserved for wheelchairs. If someone with a wheelchair came along, you had to move. It was as simple as that. They issued you a transfer ticket so that you could get on the next bus, and at least you were closer to your destination than you would have been if you hadn't been allowed to get on in the first place.

I hate how so many people have switched from the smaller (less expensive) strollers to using these SUV style models and just expect for everyone else to work around them. Those umbrella strollers are still on the market. Heck, there are even lots of deluxe strollers that fold flat. The only models that don't fold flat are the ones that cost a lot of money. It makes sense, though. If you're spending big money on a top of the line stroller, the manufacturers seem to figure that you must be planning to put it in a spacious, top of the line automobile.

If someone knows that they may have to use public transportation, it just doesn't make sense to get a stroller that is too big for those spaces. If you have one non-disabled kid, why should you be allowed to use the space that was designed for folks in wheelchairs? You're certainly not entitled to that space.

People with disabilities have had to fight to get these designated spaces on public transportation. If the folks who use those SUV style strollers really think they should have their own designated spot, then let them go and make their case with the public transit authorities in their region. Complaining because you weren't allowed to use the space that was meant for a person with disabilities is nothing more than ablism. As much as I love babies, I don't think that parents should be given a free pass on this.

It's World AIDS Day: Know Your Status

2010-12-01T16:57:00.000-06:00

So, today is World AIDS Day. I got tested yesterday. Since I have to get blood work done almost every time I go to a doctor's appointment, it makes sense to have them include an HIV test. Even though I've been w/the same partner for 10 yrs. we both think testing is important to show our daughter that it's just what responsible adults do, regardless of their relationship status.

I Have The Indigenous Girl Blues Today

2010-11-25T16:48:00.003-06:00

Every Thanksgiving, I like to re-post a story that I wrote a few years ago. If you have ever wondered why I don't celebrate Thanksgiving and/or you don't understand why I have absolutely no tolerance for those who do, please read this. Feel free to leave a comment if you want.

A Modern-Day Thanksgiving Story

Here's another post full of links that talk about this "holiday" from the perspective of other indigenous Americans.

For Those With Warm and Fuzzy Feelings About Thanksgiving

Write-In Ballots are a Disability Rights Issue

2010-11-18T22:50:00.003-06:00

So, this jackass tea-bagger Senate candidate Joe Miller up in Alaska is challenging ballots where people wrote in the name of the candidate they chose, in an attempt to whittle away at the votes cast by Lisa Murkowski.

I am a person with disabilities and so is my partner. I have rheumatoid arthritis and my partner had a traumatic brain injury that has left him permanently damaged. My handwriting is absolutely atrocious, even when I don't write in cursive lettering. Should someone like me have their vote disqualified if my "u" looked like an "a" or my "k" looks like an "h"? If my partner is dealing with a bit of fogginess or his vision isn't too great on a given day and he happens to misspell a name by a single letter, should his vote be thrown out? Most reasonable people can understand how that would be discrimination that our founding documents prohibit. If all men are created equal, then those who have poor handwriting or poor spelling skills have just as much of a right to be able to choose their representatives as everyone else.

Brothers and Sisters, When We're Dead They'll Be Able to Appropriate our Cultures as Much as They Please

2010-11-14T14:13:00.004-06:00

There's not much more that I feel up to saying about why appropriating NDN culture is unethical. BrownFemiPower does a great job of discussing this in her post. However, in the link about NDNs trying not to get their heat cut off in the middle of winter, there's a report of one of us who was forced to resort to burning their clothes for heat.

When it gets down to that, how can someone not begin to feel that they are losing their humanity? Allowing someone to get to that point effectively means that we no longer consider that person as worthy of being a part of any human society in existence today. Without clothes, you are no longer considered fit for interactions with the general public. As proof of this, try appearing on the streets without clothes or even without what is considered the right kind or combination of clothes and see how long you are allowed to go about the typical activities associated with life.

Do we really need any more evidence that this nation is making a deliberate effort to eliminate the indigenous people of this country, especially those who retain some of their culture by grouping together with others from the same background (on reservations)? I feel so numb today after reading this.

Tokenism and Identity Policing go Hand in Hand

2010-11-13T18:23:00.007-06:00

Chally from Zero at the Bone and Feministe blogged about a case in Australia where a mixed-ethnicity woman was not hired because she didn't look indigenous enough. Chally challenged who had the right to define one's racial identity. Well, to be specific, she pointed out that Racial Identity Cannot be Determined by Casual Bystanders. Of course I agree with that.

When I read this story, it seemed to me that the point where they went wrong came long before they even interviewed Betteridge. From what's been reported, these people were looking for a token.

Some folks (who aren't marginalized on the basis of race) tend to think that they are doing those who are marginalized on that basis a favor by making sure that they include one of us in their projects. It seems we're supposed to see their efforts as somehow benevolent or magnanimous. In that view, I guess we should just be grateful that they were willing to hire any of us.

However, as I see it, the main problem with their behavior isn't that they didn't choose Betteridge because of her looks--it would have been just as problematic if they did. The problem is that they were attempting to use indigenous people as a means to an end. Having someone who looks more like the stereotypical Aborigine provides them with cover. It assuages the nagging feelings of guilt or responsibility that some non-indigenous people may harbor when they know that they are participating in systemic racism.

If we consider this story from that angle, it makes perfect sense why they would do what they did. After all, what good is such a token if they don't actually seem all that much different from you? How can you make those pesky marginalized people believe that you're "one of the good ones", if you can't get at least one of them to vouch for you? This company was looking for the corporate equivalent of a "best friend who's black".

Your "black friend" is only useful if they make it so that you don't have to do any real work to prove that you care about the lives, concerns, and interests of those other(ed) folks. Your "black friend" gives, or at least lends, you street cred. So, if you say or do something that makes marginalized people question your motives, then your token can help put things in the "proper" perspective...while you hide out in the corner, until things feel safe again.

Evidently, Betteridge didn't have enough indigenous street cred to satisfy this company's desire for a "black friend". However, in their mind, she's the one who's to blame, because she didn't figure out that they weren't really looking for someone to pass out flyers. They were looking for an actor, someone to play a role. When you're looking for an actor, it's perfectly acceptable to use looks as a criteria.

I'd have respected the interviewers a lot more if they had been honest about it and admitted that they just wanted to hire an actor who looks like a stereotypical Australian indigenous person. I mean, marginalized folks gotta eat, too. I'll never judge another indigenous person for filling the role of a token. That way, the non-indigenous folks can actually get what they are looking for and an indigenous person makes some cash that they might truly need bad enough to put up with the kind of b.s. that almost always goes along with being a token.

*By the way, I know that I'm seeing racial identity through my very Americanized eyes. I am not exactly clear about what sort of terminology the indigenous people of Australian tend to use or prefer. Chally's reminder that we should respect those preferences is definitely relevant. If anyone sees some problems with the terms I've used, I hope you'll let me know so that I can fix things.

To Write Love On Her Arms 2010

2010-11-12T19:33:00.005-06:00

Today, many women and girls commemorated To Write Love On Her Arms. If you've never heard of this day/group/movement, that's okay. I didn't learn about it until last year. My daughter is the one who introduced me to it.

To Write Love On Her Arms is very dear to her heart. I think most people would be surprised how many girls her age deal with the issue of self-mutilation and/or suicide. If this is something that you have been affected by, in one way or another, check out this website that tells the story behind TWLOHA:

To Write Love On Her Arms

In order to spark conversation and discussion on this issue, many girls (and boys) at my daughter's school decorate their bodies in different ways. My daughter used pens and markers to draw on her arms. I was going to just describe what they looked like, but I decided to let her artwork speak for itself.

Thanks Again, Kanye!

2010-11-06T17:02:00.002-05:00

The worst thing about Bush's comment is that I just know that Kanye is going to cut up even more now. Y'all thought he was a wee bit conceited before? No. Just wait until he hears that the President of the United States thinks he out-ranks Hurricane Katrina, Osamma bin Ladin, 9/11, The failures in Iraq, Afghanistan, and Pakistan in terms of significance.

Getting An Education Without Breaking the Bank (or Your Mother's Heart)

2010-10-25T14:34:00.002-05:00

Today, I read an article by Arielle Loren that challenges the notion that we should all go to graduate school. "Debt and Success: Why I Said NO to Graduate School" seems geared towards those who come from a middle to upper-middle class background, so someone outside of that economic bracket might not find it very useful.

If you don't have parents who were able to finish high school, they may not have the same expectations for you as those who were privileged enough to go beyond that. If your parents can't afford to help you finance college and/or you don't qualify for scholarships and grants (because Congress still hasn't passed the DREAM ACT), then this article might not be relevant in your life. There is a fair amount of privilege associated with being someone that this article is really geared to and I think that should be acknowledged up front. If anyone who reads this knows of any links that provide advice to those potential students who are less privileged, please share them with me and I will add them to this post.

Like Loren, I also come from a long line of college graduates and folks with advanced degrees. This idea that everyone in the family should take this route is definitely a reflection of the values of bourgeoisie black society. At this point in our family history, going to college just isn't all that extraordinary. Receiving a full scholarship or graduating in less than four years is still considered brag-worthy (even though you won't be the first one to do it), but my relatives unquestioningly assume that everyone will go to college.

Through a combination of scholarships and grants, my husband and I both left college with almost no debt. As a result, we were able to purchase a home without having to take out a mortgage (If you've been saving your money for a while, this can be an excellent time to buy a house). We now have a teenager and, as I've talked about before, VanGoghGirl goes to a really prestigious high school where the administration bragged during Orientation about how 99% of their students went on to a university after graduation. The school is set up so that everyone will have plenty of "extra-curricular" activities to put on their college applications. For example, all students are required to join at least three clubs.

Because it is almost a certainty that VanGoghGirl will go to college, we've been teaching her how to make smart educational decisions as she plans for her future. Next year, she may start taking classes at one of the local universities, so that when she graduates high school she will at least have some of her first semester classes already under her belt. If she decides to enroll in a state school after she graduates from high school, she won't have any problems with transferring the credits she'll have earned. All of the graduates from her high school qualify for a program that Louisiana has that pays for all of a student's tuition to a state school for four years. That has proven to be a powerful incentive for my daughter.

Personally, I think it's better to go to a cheap(er) university for your undergraduate program. Having studied at top tier and state schools, I can say for a certainty that there isn't much of a difference between what you will learn at the undergraduate level. Besides, many states now offer programs where tuition is much lower or even free for students from that area. Many students get caught up in the hype and become totally star-struck when an expensive school accepts them. They and their families go into debt needlessly, with very little added benefit.

The smarter thing to do is to save your finances for a better graduate school. When it comes to education, employers seem to care more about where you ended up than they do about where you started out. I know sooo many people who were able to pull together financing for a top tier school for a couple of years, but finally realized that it wasn't going to be possible or practical for them to continue to do so. Having to go home and attend a less prestigious school can often feel like defeat.

If you start out at a state school and then move on to a more prestigious graduate school, you can have the best of both worlds. By staying at home for a few more years, my daughter can do all of the traveling she wants over the summers, without worrying about how she's going to pay for housing and meal plans and tuition during the rest of the year. I think this is the best route for those who know they will need or want or be expected to go to graduate school at some point. If it turns out that you don't need to go to graduate school, you can start your career without the debt that forces many people to take jobs that will enable them to start paying off their loans, but won't further their career one bit.

What Will Follow the Dehumanization of Muslims Throughout Western Society

2010-10-11T15:51:00.003-05:00

Thanks to my dear sister Aaminah, I read an article today about some alarming legal measures that are being taken in Canada right now.

Bad news comes in bunches. First there was Quebec's Bill 94, which would refuse government services, public employment, educational opportunities and even most medical care to Muslim women wearing the niqab. Then there was the Angus Reid poll showing that 80 per cent of all Canadians agree with this measure. Evidently Abe Lincoln was right. You can fool (almost) all the people some of the time. You can fool them into unreasonable persecution of their fellow citizens.
-No Room at the Inn for Veiled Women? Get Real, Canada!

I don't know how I hadn't heard about this before; maybe it's because I've been busy marveling over the islamophobic atrocities going on in France right now. To hear that these measures have crept this close to home, without me knowing about it, just makes me shiver. How did 80% of Canadians become this virulently xenophobic before my very eyes?

I feel like I/we are witnessing a very frightening movement gaining steam. The widespread isolation of Muslims from the very populations that they have been born and raised in has already occurred. The dehumanizing treatment towards them is, evidently, already acceptable to the majority of people within nearly all of Western society (and our little satellite, Israel). I honestly don't know what else could follow except what has always followed when this pattern takes place. Is there anyone reading this who isn't aware of what happens after a minority has been successfully dehumanized by the population they are in?

Vagina

2010-10-09T12:20:00.005-05:00

Conversation between me and my daughter:

Her: Mom, why does everything always come down to "vagina" with you?

Me: Because vagina is where it's at.

Her: You're right. It always comes back to "vagina" with me, too.

Oh the joys of being a queer woman raising a queer kid! :)

But was it "Racism"?

2010-10-07T21:50:00.002-05:00

Okay, I know I'm not the first person of color who has said what I'm about to write. However, it seems as if some people think the jury is still out when it comes to how incidences like Lawrence O'Donnell's recent verbal gaffe should be viewed.

O'Donnell has apologized and explained why he shouldn't have said what he did. For the most part, he took responsibility for his words even though I would argue that the last part was an attempt to minimize his actions via a tu quoque argument about how the Republican party has also made similarly problematic statements without Steele making a public comment. Never mind the fact that Steele didn't make a public comment about O'Donnell's words either. Instead he chose to contact O'Donnell personally to address his thoughts. However, that's not the main thing I want to address.

I've noticed that there are still people who think that this is an issue of whether O'Donnell is a racist or was making a racist remark. What I think is that whether it should be considered racism is irrelevant. If it makes you more comfortable, we can call O'Donnell's words "problematic" , "thoughtless" or whatever else you'd prefer. This is about the effect of his words. Regardless of whether O'Donnell was trying to make a racist remark, describing the relationship of a person of color and a group of mostly rich white men in the way that he did, has a historic context that is still relevant today. This is certainly true in a political discussion and it would be hard to argue that it isn't especially the case with Steele's role as the Republican National Committee Chairman. Race was undeniably a factor in why he was appointed to that position just as the Democratic party was patting itself on the back after making Barack Obama their Presidential nominee.

Some people are saying that Steele ran with what O'Donnell said, but even if that's true, would it really be all that surprising? That's what political advocates do! O'Donnell does it, too. He did it during the interview with Steele when he asked if the Chairman's comments about the tea-baggers' relationship with the Republican party meant that the Republicans now considered the minimum wage unconstitutional (as some tea-baggers have claimed). It's an easy (or some might say cheap, depending on how you want to look at it) technique used to box your opponent into a corner. They can either agree with an odious position that has been asserted by someone else or risk alienating a demographic that they are trying to court.

I'm a (relatively) economically-privileged person. There are things that I could say about quality of life issues that might be interpreted as thoughtless or problematic or even classist. If I am told that I've said something classist, I should understand that those on the short end of the stick with regards to classism don't go around making these accusations for no reason. If I think that classism is wrong, then I should learn from what they have to say about how someone in my position can do better in the future. That's just one example.

Some people mistakenly believe that situations like O'Donnell's are best handled by listing the person's "street cred" as if it's proof that it's impossible for that person to ever do anything that might rightfully be construed as bigoted. However, none of a person's prior actions or beliefs preclude them from causing harm in a particular incident that might crop up. The best way to show that you aren't a particular kind of bigot is by listening when people who are on the receiving end of that kind of discrimination are telling you how you've messed up and then acting on what you've learned.

I think that is what we should really be focusing on: how to learn from what people in marginalized communities have to teach us about the effects of our words and behaviors.

Black Republican Philosophy

2010-10-07T17:19:00.002-05:00

The other day, a fellow woman of color was talking to me and she remarked that she just can't understand how black Republicans can remain silent as their political party engages in so much racist speech. I started thinking about it and maybe as a former conservative person of color, I can add a helpful perspective to this topic.

The fact that someone is the same color/race/ethnicity as you doesn't mean that you'll necessarily see them as having anything significant in common with them. Some people don't willingly define themselves as a part of a community of people of color. They see themselves as ______ first, who just happen to also be black. You can fill that blank with "evangelical Christians", "Republicans", "capitalists", "Americans" or many other labels that folks like that prefer to identify as.

A lot of it has to do with how you are raised. My own family was completely uninterested in politics, because they sought to be seen as Christians above all else. If a politician said something that was in line with their interpretation of Christianity, then they had no problem praising them, but defending a politician who was the victim of racism just wasn't their focus. Part of it is black bourgeoisie values that teach we should fight racism, not by speaking out about it, but by being 10 times better at whatever we do. We were taught to be above complaining, no matter what obstacles put before us. There were no reasons for not becoming successful, only excuses.

With a values set like that, it's easy to see why the Republican party has a certain appeal for those black people who buy into the bourgeoisie philosophy. Many of them would take issue with the idea that they sit idly by as Republicans engage in racism. They are simply more interested in accomplishing certain goals, believing that their success will prove their superiority over racists in both parties.

But that's just my two cents.

O'Donnell Shows How It's Done, So Listen Up

2010-10-07T16:59:00.003-05:00

Last Tuesday, Lawrence O'Donnell was on his new television show talking about the Republican Chairman Michael Steele when he said,

"As the first congressional election during his party chairmanship approaches, Michael Steele is dancing as fast as he can, trying to charm independent voters and tea partiers while never losing sight of his real master and paycheck provider: the Republican National Committee,"

After Steele called O'Donnell and expressed how this use of the term "master" in reference was quite offensive, O'Donnell went on his show the next night and apologized in a manner that I think all white Americans could stand to emulate.

Fortunately, O'Donnell recognizes that the effect of one's actions are always more important than the intent. Sure, he didn't have to apologize, but the fact that he did shows he has a lot better understanding of white privilege than many folks within liberal/progressive circles.

You see, his apology has little to do with Steele. It's about right and wrong. The appropriateness of an apology isn't dependent on whether or not Steele is a decent person, because O'Donnell's words reach far beyond just the individual he was referring to. It would have been much better if he hadn't made this remark in the first place. However, after saying it, he had to decide to how he was going to react to being told how offensive it was. He could either contribute to the way that white Americans try to decide for themselves what should and should not be offensive to people of color or he could make it clear that he understands the impact of his actions as a media figure. Thankfully, he chose the ethical response. My hope is that more white Americans will learn from this and follow his example.

The Difficulties of Being a Young Commercial Graphic Artist

2010-10-07T10:59:00.003-05:00

Today, someone on Facebook posted a link to some YouTube videos created by a young cat who has made some pretty hilarious shorts. It turns out, he's from my hometown (New Orleans) and he's also a graphic artist. After watching some of his skits, I found an interview where he explains some of the difficulties of being an artist trying to make a living from his work and why he calls his business "R.I.P. Jerry Lavigne Jr.".

His rates are ridiculously cheap considering how much he includes. For an 11" x 14" picture, on professional grade paper, with matting and a frame using non-glare glass, he charges $150. Frankly, I don't know how he manages to turn a decent profit. I'm really glad to see this reality spelled out for all of the folks who don't understand the years of training/practice that goes into getting this good & how that deserves compensation, too.

My daughter is in high school but she's been a professional artist for years. We just bought a router and a couple of sawhorses, so that she can start making her own frames. You can charge more for framed photos than for unframed ones, but it's still hard to make a decent profit unless you can get the frames for a good price.

We first thought about getting a router after she started learning how to use power tools when her theatre teacher began teaching them about stagecraft. Since we did need to replace some baseboards and window sills in our new house and my mother-in-law was also doing some remodeling, we concluded that it would make sense to invest in one.

Now she'll be able to offer several different framing options to customers and she isn't limited to whatever the local businesses offer. She plans to eventually begin experimenting with different finishes and stains. We can get wood and glass from building supplies stores for cheap, so the router was the only significant investment.

I hope that my daughter will grow up to be a savvy artist like Jerry Lavigne. To be a successful commercial artist in today's world, you have to be able to think creatively in more ways than one. The more you can do yourself, the more money you make. That is, if you can get it through people's heads that "the worker is worthy of his wages" (1 Timothy 5:18).

Eva Cassidy Memories

2010-10-06T20:15:00.002-05:00

I discovered Eva Cassidy's music when I was in treatment for my cancer. She became a sort of patron saint for me. Her music gave me strength to keep going, even when the doctors told me that my cancer was incurable. Seeing how Cassidy fought her cancer with grace and courage to her dying day inspired me to keep on fighting.

Mixed Girls Don't Need Collagen Injections

2010-10-01T19:38:00.007-05:00

Okay, that's a big generalization. It's certainly not always the case, but I'm trying to make a point that's related to this. I check the Huffington Post almost every day, so a lot of what I see online comes from things I've read there. As usual, I found some an article that made me want to come over to my blog and rant. There's a picture of Matthew Modine and his daughter, Ruby, who accompanied him to a movie premiere. She's a lovely, lovely young lady.

When I looked at the picture, the first thing I thought was, "Hmm. I didn't know that Matthew Modine was in an inter-racial marriage. Cool!" Then when I started reading the comments and I felt like my head was going to explode. I kept seeing all these comments about how it was a shame how all these young girls were getting collagen injections in their lips. I thought to myself, "What the heck?" I mean, this is obviously a woman of color. At least, it's obvious to me.

I started wondering if it was just me imagining things, so I looked up the name of the woman Matthew Modine is married to. She's an Afro-Latina named Caridad Rivera. If you take a look at how beautiful she is, it's no wonder that a guy who looks like your average white guy--Well, I guess he's sort of handsome, in a Middle America kind of way--would hang on to a catch like her.

It's really aggravating to watch how white people assume that features associated with people of European descent are the norm and everything that falls outside of that range must be unnatural. I mean, really? Are there really that many white Americans who have never seen what a Euro/Afro/Latina looks like? Maybe I've just wanted to believe that my fellow Americans are a lot more sophisticated than they tend to be.

It's just that, being from New Orleans with its history of Creole/gens de coleur libres, we get to seeing the diversity of features that occur when you mix folks from indigenous America, the African diaspora, and European colonizers. It's not even anything special here, because there are so many folks like that down here. I just want to face-palm every time I see some white people still so clueless about racial/ethnic diversity.

If you look at a few pages of comments, it becomes clear what this is all about. The problem boils down to the fact that many white Americans still haven't come to grips with the fact that this country is becoming browner before their very eyes. Well, I should say, it's becoming brown again, because America is simply returning to how it looked before Europeans arrived and killed off the brown majority that originally inhabited these lands.

If you are used to living in a country where most people look like you and those in your family, and you occasionally see a few folks who look very different, it's easy to just gawk or giggle or ignore these outsiders. However, if you wake up one morning, go outside, and suddenly realize that more and more people are starting to look like the "outsiders" and a lot less like you, it's harder to ignore and a lot more difficult to avoid these differences. You go through your day and now people don't care as much about what you see as beautiful and, furthermore, you are no longer as likely to be included in what's considered the ideal beauty.

As a person of color, I've never been in that position, but I have to imagine that it might not be a pleasant experience. Some people are better than others with regards to dealing with changes. I figure they'll have the easiest time adjusting to the the changes in America's racial/ethnic demographics.

Unfortunately, a certain percentage of folks are going to fight the changes tooth and nail. It's sad, because they are fighting a losing battle. We are the future. They can either get with the program or they will just die out and become a part of history.

How Can I Explain?

2010-09-21T18:25:00.003-05:00

God is so good to me. He knows the secret desires of my heart and gives me, not only what I need, but also what I want.

My neighbors asked my daughter if she'd be interested in reading to their 2 little boys for an hour or so, twice a week. Today is their first session. They just finished reading "The Very Bouncy Bear" and now they are using markers to draw pictures of animals. My sister-in-law's dog, Gizmo, is hanging out with us while she runs some errands, so the boys are also taking breaks to pet the dog and squeal with delight every time he nuzzles them.

Watching the fun that they are having fills me with joy. Though I can't have any more kids, look at how God has still made it possible for me to have plenty of children in my life. I am so blessed that some days it feels like my heart will burst from all of the love I've been shown.

Gimme That Ol' Time Revolution!

2010-09-13T18:50:00.001-05:00

Please forgive me for not being OMG EXCITED about the idea that lesbians/bi-/gay people may now be added to the list of those who can go to third world nations, kill their inhabitants, and then aid the US in appropriating all of the natural resources. Removing "Don't Ask. Don't Tell" isn't progress. It's simply propping up the legitimacy of a war-mongering nation. I want revolution, not repeals.

Love Over the Telephone

2010-09-10T22:34:00.003-05:00

VanGoghGirl was on the phone with my mom tonight. When I walked into the room, I overheard her telling my mom

"Mémé, if you were a cactus, I'd just be covered with prickles because I'd still hug you and hug you all of the time."

I really appreciate the relationship that the two of them share and I thought that was just the sweetest and most heartfelt words of affection that I've heard in a very long time.

The Dangers of an Afro? Really?

2010-09-06T14:37:00.003-05:00

Sooo, apparently, some folks believe that wearing afros is dangerous. Do we really have to get melodramatic with this? Why are we making these blanket statements without regard to what sort of hair one has? My daughter has extremely-fine hair. Pulling, twisting, and/or braiding it often causes more damage and breakage than when we simply leave it loose. Since we started leaving it alone, it has grown faster and healthier than at any other point in her life.

Like thousands upon thousands of African-American women, I have lupus. Because of this, I have an extreme sensitivity to the sun. The afro works best for me, because it provides coverage for my scalp when I go outside. Otherwise, I'd have to wear a hat all of the time and we all know what sort of moisture-stealing materials most of those are made of.

Instead of making generalizations, let's base information on facts: different types of hair need to be treated differently and what's good for one hair type may not be good for someone else. We just need to know our hair as well as we know the other parts of our body.

I use an afro pick and it still hasn’t damaged my hair one bit. I rarely see more than a few hairs in my comb. I’m not sure why the assumption is being made that those who use a pick aren’t also using moisturizers. Even in the 70′s afro-wearers often used pomades and oils, so this is not a new practice.

It’s just irrational to say that a particular practice or style is dangerous for all kinds of hair. It’s like saying that peanuts are all dangerous, just because some people are allergic to them. No, it’s simply ill-advised for those who experience problems with it. Likewise, when you make generalizations without regard to who is included in the group you’re talking about, then you’re bound to give out inaccurate information and that’s the only thing that we KNOW can be dangerous.

Pat Robertson's latest Islamophobic Scare Tactic

2010-09-05T09:51:00.005-05:00

So, Pat Robertson thinks that the "Islamization"of Paris is a warning to the West.

This is fear-mongering of the worst type and completely bogus. I just shook my head when reading how it separates Muslims from "native" French people, as if those who are Muslim are necessarily foreigners. Like Islam, Christianity didn't originate in France, but no one claims that being a Christian means one can not possibly be a real Frenchman. What CBN is doing is "othering" French Muslims and creating a hostile environment for people seeking to practice their religion in peace. When you have situations where random Muslims are being attacked on the streets and on their jobs, I don't blame them for hiring private security to keep a look out while they pray.

And can anything be more ignorant than staging pork parties as a sign of French patriotism? I laughed my head off when I saw the guy waving a giant sausage above his head. I mean, what is that supposed to do? Scare the Muslims away like a vampire who sees a cross? This idea that French Muslims are doing something all that different from other groups is just ridiculous. Do the French disallow Christmas displays? Do they tell Christians that they can not walk around in public in priests' robes or nuns' habits? Do they prevent the playing of Christmas music outside of church or private homes?

If the Muslims had a mosque the size of the Notre Dame Cathedral, they wouldn't have to pray out on the streets when they go to their religious services on Fridays. Of all the Muslims I know and have known in my lifetime, I have yet to meet a single one who would prefer to pray outside on the nasty public streets next to gutters instead of having a nice indoors place to worship. However, it's pretty clear that if Muslims did try to build a mosque of that size, these islamophobes wouldn't approve of that either.

Their issue isn't really with the fact that religious people are praying outside. Robertson is constantly using his propaganda station to threaten people with the wrath of God for trying to enforce our own separation of church and state principle. No, what Robertson's really complaining about is that French Muslims exist at all. Notice how his reporter goes on this tangent about French Muslims who have been accused of polygamy. Predictably, he doesn't mention how many French Christians also practice it, in one form or another, nor does he point out how the majority of people collecting welfare checks in France are not Muslims. French men having children with more than one woman is only worth mentioning if those men are Muslims and those children might one day grow up to be Muslims, too.

I understand that if Pat Robertson wants to keep fleecing his ~~sheeple~~ flock for every dime they have, he's going to have to resort to scaring them into thinking they'd better fight back against this supposed "Islamization coming-to-a-nation-near-you". And what better way to fight back than to send money to Robertson and his completely non-political religious organization, right? Anyone who falls for this, deserves to lose every dime in their pocket.

Here's a real warning for "the West": A fool and his money are soon parted.

RaHoWa? Hardly!

2010-09-03T03:20:00.002-05:00

With all of the hoopla about mosques being built in the USA, I've seen more talk on the internet from Ku Klux Klan types talking about how they believe that RaHoWa (racial holy war) is imminent. Personally, I don't think there will ever be any nationwide race riots. I think it's going to eventually come down to something a lot more basic, like food riots. The gap between the rich and the poor is widening while the percentage of the population that's non-white is quickly evening out with the percentage who are whites. I think that eventually, people will care a lot less about what color their neighbor is and a lot more about the fact that everyone around them is finding it harder and harder to eke out a living while the rich b**tards behave as if the world truly belongs to them.”

Withdrawal of Troops in 2011 is not Good Enough

2010-09-02T02:37:00.001-05:00

Pelosi and Gates Differ on Expectations for July 2011 Troop Withdrawal

As a matter of fact, even 2010 is too late for some of us. As long as we're in Iraq and/or Afghanistan, our troops are going to die--there and once they come back with the PTSD that caused my veteran uncle to blow his brains out three years ago. When it comes right down to it, it doesn't matter what role our troops are playing over there (advisory or combat) because our presence is still unwanted by the majority of the Iraqi population. As long as we're unwanted but still around, our troops will die because they will remain a target.

I have a lot of respect for Obama, but that doesn't change the fact that the blood of all those slain--Iraqi, Afghans, and Americans--are on the hands of those who are responsible for our continued presence.

Is Sexism and Agism Allstate Insurance's Best Strategy for Winning Customers?

2010-08-31T12:07:00.006-05:00

Am I the only one who really, really hates these Allstate insurance commercials where there's some douche bag dressed up in all pink and doing all sorts of property damage and then saying "I'm a teenage girl and if you (bought insurance from the other company then basically, you'd be screwed right now)"? I mean, what makes a teenage girl more likely to be irresponsible than a teenage boy or an adult male. And wearing all pink and driving a pink car--lord knows girls love love love the color pink, amirite?--while doing it has got to be the icing on the cake.

Here are a few different versions of the commercial.

Islamophobia Comes to a Head in New York City

2010-08-25T20:38:00.002-05:00

One of my brothers is a Muslim now. He also works part-time as a taxicab driver. That's why reading this story in the news today gave me the chills.

Muslim Cab Driver STABBED in New York City, Michael Enright Arrested on Hate Crime Charge

My mom is a Jehovah's Witness. They aren't exactly known for being folks who are open to the idea that there is more than one right way to do things, especially when it comes to religion. However, my mom always encouraged us to learn about the world around us. She taught us to be voracious readers and she never stopped us from reading about other religions and studying their holy texts. She caught a lot of flack for how she raised us, but we all turned out to be critical thinkers as adults. We didn't become Jehovah's Witnesses, but we all have a great deal of respect for folks of all faiths.

The worst part of this is that it has happened during the Muslim holy month of Ramadan. This is a month that Muslims around the world use as a time of reflection and fasting, prayer, sacrifice, and repentance. To have this happen to a Muslim during Ramadan is like having the same thing happen to a Catholic during Lent or to a Protestant on Christmas. Just when you have your thoughts focused on God and you're trying to reaffirm your commitment to worship Him to the best of your ability, someone comes along and stabs you in the neck.

This was an act of religious persecution. It is a hate crime, if ever there was one.

Please keep Ahmed H. Sharif and his family in your prayers and consider using the month of Ramadan as an opportunity to visit a mosque in your area. Every time I have ever entered one, I have been treated warmly, with welcoming arms. If the idea of religious persecution makes you as angry as it makes me, I think we should reach out to our Muslim sisters and brothers and let them know that we are not willing to sit by and watch bigots impugn Islam and victimize them in their own country.

Best Native American/Arizona Joke EVER!

2010-08-24T12:34:00.001-05:00

When NASA was preparing for the Apollo Project, they conducted some astronaut training on the Navajo Reservation in northern Arizona. One day a Navajo elder and his son were herding sheep when they encountered the space crew engaged in such training. The old man spoke only Navajo and asked a question which his son translated. “What are these guys in the big suits doing?” A member of the crew replied that they were practicing for their trip to the moon.

The old man got excited and asked if he could send a message to the moon with the astronauts. Recognizing a promotional opportunity for the spin doctors, the NASA folks found a tape recorder. When the old man had finished recording his message, they asked the son to translate it for them, however he refused to do it. So the NASA reps brought the tape into town to get it translated. The other members of the tribe listened to it and then laughed, but also refused to translate the elder’s message to the moon. Finally the NASA crew called in an official government translator. He then translated the elder’s message as saying;

“Watch out for these assholes… they have come to steal your land”

The Beautiful Obama Family

2010-08-20T16:09:00.005-05:00

Today, I saw a picture of President Obama leaving an independent bookstore with his two daughters as they are vacationing out in Martha's Vineyard. As a person in a family that has been inter-racial for several generations, I just never get enough of seeing them. It's hard enough finding positive portrayals of black families in the media. Trying to show your child other families like yours when you have an inter-racial/inter-ethnic family is like searching for the dodo bird.

Obama dresses just like my dad, nothing flashy, no labels on his clothes and always carrying or wearing a pair of sunglasses that are just cool enough for me to suspect that someone else picked them out for him. :) Sasha & Malia never have that overly-dressed up look that I hate to see on children. I'm talking about the kind of doll-like clothes that kids are afraid to really get down and play in because their parents might scream about them messing up their pretty outfits. They look as if they are ready to join a picnic or a game of hopscotch or any other activity that a kid should be free to kick back and enjoy while on vacation. They are adorable, well-mannered, well-adjusted, and unpretentious. They're exactly the kind of family that I would have chosen for what the first black/multi-racial family in the White House would be like.

People may certainly find several things to criticize about Obama's presidency, but no one can deny the fact that this family is doing an excellent job at creating a loving and supportive environment for their children. All little kids deserve to be adored by their parents in the same way that Sasha and Malia obviously are.

2010-08-18T22:04:00.004-05:00

I found this picture on the Huffington Post slide show. I think I really liked it, because of the twenty different things that one can be in order to qualify for entrance into Satan's eternal disco party, I've actually done or been fourteen of these at some time in my life.

How many reasons does this guy think that God has to send you to hell? Come on! 'Fess up, folks!

WorldNetDaily Gets Down to Serious Business

2010-08-18T19:16:00.004-05:00

The German thinks I have a twisted sense of humor, because when I'm having a bad day I like to cheer myself up by spending hours and hours looking at websites from what he and I refer to as the "other internetz", "Internet /b/", or the "dark side". If I had to analyze it, I guess teabagger conspiracies about Obama's supposed plan to enslave whites or evangelical preachers trying to convince us that Obama is the Anti-Christ are so absurd that it's virtually impossible for me not to laugh, even on days where it's hard for me to get my mind off of my back pain or my stomach problems.

One of my favorite sources of lulz is the right-wing website ~~WorldNutDaily~~ WorldNetDaily. Yesterday, they posted an article about how their CEO has disinvited Ann Coulter from speaking at his "Taking America Back" national conference. He says it was a gut-wrenching decision, but one that he was forced to make after Coulter decided to speak in front of a group of gay Republicans at an event called "HomoCon". Coulter explained that she was simply doing it for the money, but (surprisingly) even that wasn't a good enough excuse for Farah who has decided to allow Coulter to remain a regular columnist on his site, nevertheless. The article features a quote where he explains his decision:

"There's a different standard for columnists and speakers at our conference," Farah explained. "We boast the broadest ideological forum of commentators in any news or opinion publication or website anywhere on the planet – and we will continue to do that. We think people should hear all points of view discussed openly and honestly. However, this conference is a serious event designed to provide some real leadership for those who are serious about changing the direction of this country. There is simply no room there for compromisers or for people who accept money from those determined to destroy the moral fabric required for self-governance and liberty."

What makes this whole story outrageously funny is the lines that directly followed this quote.

The conference will feature Rep. Michele Bachmann, Ambassador Alan Keyes, Colorado gubernatorial candidate Tom Tancredo, former Sen. and retired Admiral Jeremiah Denton, WND's Jerome Corsi, Aaron Klein, David Kupelian, comedienne Victoria Jackson, talk-show host Rusty Humphries, homeschool champion Michael Farris and many others in a lively, interactive forum that will include debates on some of the hottest issues of the day.

Oh yeah, any event featuring Bachmann, Keyes and comedienne Victoria Jackson is definitely srz bznz! God bless the series of tubes. Without them, I might not ever find out just how stupid these folks really are.

A Message for White Xenophobes

2010-08-13T09:50:00.002-05:00

Dear White Xenophobes,

You clearly don't understand the human psyche. What happens when you threaten adults and tell them that they had better not do something? Why, even if they had no prior plans to do it, the idea of trying it suddenly becomes more intriguing to them, of course! By making migration across this imaginary border into something forbidden, you make it a challenge that some folks will become determined to conquer.

You like facts? Well, here's one: The US military is stuck in two god-forsaken wars that leave it too stretched out and distracted to put enough people on the border to actually prevent folks from crossing. Even Arpaio and Brewer's little stunts aren't enough to keep folks from crossing. All they have done is alienate people of color who are citizens, including those who might actually have gone along with a reasonable and comprehensive approach to migration.

My very conservative partner, who is just a swarthy man of German-descent and is often mistaken as a Latino or Arab, can no longer travel/vacation through AZ without worrying about being snatched away from his family. Do you really think he'll ever vote Republican again? You folks really didn't think this one through very well or maybe you just decided to let your prejudices win out over all other considerations. Either way, you played yourself, buddy. The cat's out of the bag and even conservative people of color are dumping your party like a hot rock. Thanks for playing, though!”

VanGoghGirl Sure is Growing Up

2010-07-20T13:23:00.009-05:00

My baby just made 15! I can barely believe that I have a kid who's that old. Today, I just felt like posting some pictures of my beautiful, talented little pixie.

And Who Said The Cops Don't "Protect And Serve"?

2010-07-13T20:50:00.003-05:00

Jumping Jehosaphat, I just don't know what the heck is wrong with my people sometimes. Okay, so there's a story in the news right now about how a woman of color wound up being tasered, repeatedly, after calling the police for help because she was afraid that there might be a prowler outside. On one of the news sites reporting this story, I made the comment that what I take away from this is that people of color are better off taking their chances with the criminals because calling the police only increases the likelihood that they/we will be victimized twice. In response, a fellow woman of color criticized my statement saying,

"So people of color should not call the cops. Are we inconveniencing them and therefore should be subject to torture or murder? The problem is we are becoming too silent on issues we need to speak out on. After awhile we can't look them in the eye and should hold our heads down and always remember to say yes suh, no suh. Honestly I can't believe we forget people were lynched, beat, hosed so that we had our civil rights. Police protection or at least holding them as best we can to do their jobs without killing us is better than being silent."

I wrote back to her and said,

"It's up to you to decide if YOU should call the cops. However, if you do, there's no reason for you to think that you won't be victimized by them. Given their history in this nation, it would be extremely naive for a person of color to think that a systemically racist organization is going to work to the advantage of those who it was designed to suppress. Who has said anything about remaining silent? Not expecting them to be our knights in shining armor is not the same as being silent. By all means, speak out. However, it's hard to effect change as long as you're perpetuating the problem by not finding other ways of dealing with societal issues. If we make calling the cops the only correct way of dealing with issues of safety, what are we supposed to do when it is the cops who are endangering us (e.g. a case like this one)? Have you forgotten that it was often the police who were doing the lynching and beating and hosing of people of color? Don't you get it? These cops WERE doing their job. Their job isn't to protect and serve YOU. Their job is to protect and serve the system that codified the oppression of those people of color you're referencing."

If this story isn't proof that cops don't work for us, I don't know what would be. Sure, our taxes pay their salary, but that doesn't mean they work for us. It simply means that we are paying "protection money" to state-sanctioned mob. We're supposed to believe that if we don't pay them to protect us, then we'll be victimized by the "bad guys". However, they are the bad guys, so even though we pay them, we still wind up being victimized. Having a police force doesn't keep people of color safe, so what do we have to lose by not assuming that they are going to be there to protect us?

Oh no! There are Scary Brown People on Your Interwebz!

2010-07-13T20:09:00.002-05:00

Today, a woman that I went to high school with was on Facebook talking about how she and her kids just watched an episode of Dateline that was all about this newest "online epidemic": gangs using Facebook and Twitter to recruit new members and organize their nefarious activities. Some people on her feed thought that she was joking, so she posted this link to a news story on the subject. I took a look at it and just felt so frustrated.

I mean, it's such crap! Okay, what does the picture of young men of color have to do with this story? Given the fact that there are wayyyyyy more white folks on Facebook and Twitter, why don't they have a picture of some white people, if they just wanted to add a random photo? See, it's articles like this that make our children into targets for the police regardless of whether they are guilty of anything. Ugh!

By the way, what's new about this crap? Before cell phones and the internet, people were using beepers and graffiti. Before that, people were using scarves and handkerchiefs. Before that, they were using word of mouth. This isn't anything new. I swear, the media is always trying to get ~~white~~ good, law-abiding folks all whipped up into a frenzy, making them think that there are some scary black or brown people they need to be afraid of.

Look it up, Dear!

2010-07-05T17:32:00.002-05:00

Okay, start with this: War Bonnet Appropriation Etiquette=Don't Do It

"What? Stepping on your neck hurts? If I ask really, really sweetly, would you please explain to me why it hurts? Maybe then I can make up my mind about whether your reason for not liking it is valid enough for me to consider taking my heels out of your jugular vein."

It doesn't take a genius to see what's wrong with these kinds of comments. I am Native American and even I don't wear eagle feathers. If it's not appropriate for me to do, it certainly isn't something that non-Natives should even consider trying. There is absolutely no justification for it. I have an especially hard time being nice about this when conversations like this come up on the internet. If you had the time to sit there and request information from me, then you could have simply looked up the info for yourself without asking me to spoon-feed it to you. I mean, the last time I checked, teh googles were still working.

I spent the first few years of blogging taking the time to explain this kind of stuff to these oh-so-sincere folks. When other people of color said that they weren't going to explain it even when asked nicely, I felt sympathetic. I thought I understood their reasons. It seemed perfectly reasonable to me for an individual not to feel like having the same conversations over and over again. At the same time, I felt like at least some of us within the communities of people of color needed to give the answers to those who asked.

I had people of color who tried to explain to me that the person requesting this kind of information is the one who had the responsibility for finding the answers they sought. I still felt justified, though. I thought that a white person who asked these questions was at least taking the first step by asking questions. I felt like it at least showed they were acting in good faith.

Sadly, it took me a few years to see what other people of color were trying to help me see. When the information is so readily available, a white person asking a person of color to explain why something is problematic isn't really about educating themselves. If their goal was to understand these issues, then they could simply research it themselves. Asking us for information is really an attempt to make us justify our stance. Answering these requests made me an enabler. It undermined the efforts of those who were showing white people that they shouldn't expect for us to jump at their beckoning call. Asking sweetly doesn't change the fact that they're still trying to make us prove ourselves to them.

The Drilling Moratorium is a Matter of Survival in a Post-Oil Spill La.

2010-06-23T15:04:00.003-05:00

Right now, down here in southeast Louisiana, it has been interesting to see hardcore Republicans and Democrats agreeing that we need to end our dependence on fossil fuels. Back in the 80's we learned a hard lesson about how foolish it was to base our economy on the oil industry. As the years passed, some people forgot about how disastrous that was and began to see the oil companies as some sort of benign industry that still benefited to our economy. Now that British Petroleum has shown its true colors, a lot of folks who were formerly supporters are feeling more than a little bit bitter. They are downright angry and they have every reason to be.

What BP's existence might have contributed to our economy is nothing compared to the damage that it has done to it. And that's NOTHING, NOTHING compared to what it has done to our lands. Some folks from up north don't realize how much many Louisianians still live off of the land. I'm a city-dweller, but even I know folks who are so far from a grocery store that they have to hunt and fish for most of their food. What are they supposed to do when the animal populations begin to decrease?

Given how much of our plants and animals are going to die from this current fiasco, we simply can't afford to allow the oil companies to keep on drilling until we can be sure that they've fixed all of their problematic practices. The proposed moratorium on drilling is a matter of survival, but now it has been struck down by a U.S. District Judge who has extensive investments in the oil industry. Folks like him care about their money more than they are interested in the survival of poor people, so it's not surprising that some folks still want to "drill, baby, drill".

To Those Who Think That Islam Does Not Allow for Diversity of Thought

2010-06-11T00:57:00.003-05:00

Have you ever ridden down a highway? Though you and I can both be traveling down the same highway, we may travel in different lanes. We can both end up at the same destination, but take slightly different paths within that same highway system. Perhaps, you will have to dodge a few obstacles that I may manage to avoid completely and vice versa. None of this changes the fact that we are still traveling down the same road, going to the same place.

For Muslims, through Islam, Allah sets the parameters and allows a great deal of freedom within those parameters. Personally, it annoys me to no end when non-Muslims say that Islam takes away all of a person's freedom, because we (i.e. those who have an intimate relationship with Islam) know that it is through Islam that many of us have been made free.

I also get a bit irritated when I hear certain Muslims making very similar comments. There are those (within the Muslim communities that I have been privileged to be a part of throughout the years) who I've seen make it easier for this charge to be made against Islam and Muslims. They do this through their words when they claim that there is only one correct way to practice Islam.

Even the most pious of the Muslims don't live identical lives. Though they are all striving to be in submission in everything they do and think, they don't all reach the same conclusions. If humans try to regulate those things that Allah has seen fit not to regulate, then they are the ones lacking in submission--not those they are trying to rein in.

Haiti and the Social Gospel

2010-06-01T01:21:00.005-05:00

Today, I read a tweet from a local (rich, white, cisgender, male) youth pastor talking about Haiti. He was saying how we need to see food, clothing and shelter as secondary and that we should view the gospel as what they need the most. To me, this was a rather flawed way to view things.

I grew up in a religious tradition that did not much believe in getting involved in social justice. If there was a hurricane or tsunami somewhere, the people from the associated churches would all create a little fund which was sent to the main organization and they would use the contributions as they saw fit to help whomever they saw fit for a very limited period of time. After that initial contribution, they basically went back to just proselytizing in the usual ways--inviting people to church, preaching to people in public spaces, offering salvation in the form of baptism.

Each year, they raked in millions of dollars from all across the world, yet they never built one school, created one clinic, or ran a single food or clothing bank. This never sat well with me. I have a hard time respecting any organization that would gladly take money from already-impoverished people, but offer them nothing more than intangibles in return.

I love beautiful churches. I enjoy visiting the ornate surroundings of many cathedrals and mosques and synagogues. At the same time, I do feel a bit uncomfortable with all of the froufrou, knowing that millions of people are still dying of starvation each year. I can't help but think that at least some of the money spent on these works of art and wonders of architecture could have been better used providing for the needs of the poor.

There's a chapter in the Bible that I thought about when I read that pastor's tweet today.

"Then the King will say to those on his right, 'Come, you who are blessed by my Father; take your inheritance, the kingdom prepared for you since the creation of the world. For I was hungry and you gave me something to eat, I was thirsty and you gave me something to drink, I was a stranger and you invited me in, I needed clothes and you clothed me, I was sick and you looked after me, I was in prison and you came to visit me.'

"Then the righteous will answer him, 'Lord, when did we see you hungry and feed you, or thirsty and give you something to drink? When did we see you a stranger and invite you in, or needing clothes and clothe you? When did we see you sick or in prison and go to visit you?'

"The King will reply, 'I tell you the truth, whatever you did for one of the least of these brothers of mine, you did for me.'

"Then he will say to those on his left, 'Depart from me, you who are cursed, into the eternal fire prepared for the devil and his angels. For I was hungry and you gave me nothing to eat, I was thirsty and you gave me nothing to drink, I was a stranger and you did not invite me in, I needed clothes and you did not clothe me, I was sick and in prison and you did not look after me.'

"They also will answer, 'Lord, when did we see you hungry or thirsty or a stranger or needing clothes or sick or in prison, and did not help you?'

"He will reply, 'I tell you the truth, whatever you did not do for one of the least of these, you did not do for me.'

"Then they will go away to eternal punishment, but the righteous to eternal life."
Matthew 25:34-46

Notice who was pronounced righteous in this chapter. If we are not feeding and clothing and putting a roof over the heads of people such as those now living in Haiti, then all of our good intentions are for naught--we will still end up facing eternal punishment. Mohandas Gandhi once said, "There are people in the world so hungry, that God cannot appear to them except in the form of bread". I think that where the youth pastor went wrong was in thinking that providing for the physical needs of others is somehow separate from the gospel of the Bible. Instead, I see it as the very core of what it means to live the gospel and if we are not living the gospel, we certainly can't spread it to others.

Aaminah Speaks Out About Why All Indigenous People are Arizonans Now

2010-05-19T19:44:00.003-05:00

My dearest friend online is a sister named Aaminah. She is an indigenous woman of color with disabilities. Both of us are descended from Native American nations in the same area, so I consider her my cousin. She wrote something today that I just can't read without responding to. It's called "if you think i’m identifying a little too much with the mexicans…". It's only a paragraph long, so you should read it.

When I read her post, the first thing I said to myself was, "Yes! Exactly!". I felt like I could have written this myself. It describes my feelings better than I can do myself.

Aaminah is right! These are OUR people. I am not Latino, but I am indigenous. This means all indigenous people of the Americas are my family. Mexicans are just one branch of that family. The thing is, as indigenous people, we know that their struggle is inextricably linked to ours. The people that don't want Mexicans here don't want us here either. If we allow them to kick out all of the Mexicans in this country, pretty soon we'll be begging our indigenous primos to the south to allow us to come and live there with them.

Make no mistake about it, we are next on the list. Our presence is a challenge to the narrative that the White people in this country have tried to propagate about this land. Our existence proves that this was not an empty continent, just waiting for the white man to come and conquer. It was a fully populated land, from top to bottom. We developed this land. We settled it. Then Europeans came and shit all over our lands. They spread their unsustainable, capitalist, wasteful way of life across the North American continent and into Central America.

Well, shitting on something doesn't make it yours. This is our land. I don't care how many White Arizonans approve of the new law created to drive out all undocumented people--and don't even get me started about problematic that term is, too.

No matter what you approve or disapprove of, this land belongs to me and my people. Personally, I hope that the people of Arizona get so sick of people like me that they all make their way back to their family's country of origin. You can come in my backyard and make yourself comfortable and even claim that it's yours, but it won't change the fact that my family and I lived here first and we're not going to give you this country just because you want it.

The Legal Deportation of Citizens & Why Your Status Doesn't Matter

2010-05-18T17:27:00.005-05:00

The city of Baltimore auctioned off and sold this woman's house--a house with no mortgage that was owned free and clear by the woman living in it--because of an unpaid water bill. She fell behind when she had to quit her job to take care of her father who had Alzheimer's Disease. Now, she and her family are homeless and the house sits empty. After all, who's going to want to buy a house where practically every other house in the neighborhood is boarded up?

Where is the justice system that is supposed to protect the people of this country? Do you really think that the quality of life will improve for citizens, if we can manage to deport all of undocumented workers? How do you account for this woman's situation, then? Do you actually believe that the forces that be will be satisfied with criminalizing everyone who isn't a citizen? Immigrants are just today's scapegoats. When the politicians can't milk that issue any further, what or who do you think they'll criminalize next?

My partner and I own a house. Thanks be to God that we have no mortgage! It's easy to be in a situation like ours and think that at least you'll always have a roof over your head. However, this is proof that no one, no one is really safe. If they want to, the government can make anything you do into a criminal act. And if you don't do anything? Well, they can make even your existence in this country into a criminal act.

Think about it. What do you think has happened to this woman? She has been effectively "deported" from the place where she has lived for decades. A place that was paid for with her family's blood, sweat, and tears. Yet the government now says that she's not entitled to live there. She can't even be inside the home that her family made for itself. How is this any different from what's being done in places like Arizona (and all around the country, actually)?

The indigenous people of America developed this land, made it livable for humans. They carved out homes for themselves. They did all of this without the assistance of the United States government. Then, some Europeans came in and decided that God wanted them to take it from the indigenous people. We never agreed to leave our home. This land is our home. Our ancestors have roamed and resided on these lands for thousands of years. How can any one's claim to it be stronger than that? Still, using brute force and with the aid of the United States government, we were and are being removed from it.

It's not because this land can't support both us and them. The indigenous people of this land were more than willing to share this land with the Europeans. However, that wasn't enough for them. In their greed, they attempted to take over everything. Now they can't even manage all of the land they've stolen. It's just like the corporations that are buying up tax lien properties. They don't even have anything they can do with them yet. They are just hoping that they can kick out the people who live there without too much resistance.

No matter what corporations tell you, they know that land is the most valuable commodity on earth. Nothing compares to it, not diamonds, not oil, not even an individual human's life. These people are shrewd. They know that if they can maintain possession of the land, they can control almost everything that goes on within it. They don't really care about whether someone is "legal" or "illegal". These labels mean nothing to corporate America.

Labeling some people "illegal" makes it possible for those who are really in charge to take possession of a certain percentage of the land in this country. The fewer people with claims to it that are on the land, the less likely it is that they will have their claims challenged. And when that tactic has been milked for all it's worth, they aren't going to just sit back and enjoy their ill-gotten gains. The same greed that motivated them to dispossess undocumented workers also motivates them to go after the money-poor/property-rich citizens in this country. This is what's happening in Baltimore and all around the nation.

Keep it Classist, Paul SCHMIDTBERGER

2010-05-14T18:57:00.005-05:00

Last week, The New York Times published an article, written by a man named Paul Schmidtberger, called "Brittney, Brittny, Brittneigh". In case you haven't figured it out yet, the article is all about how appalled Mr. Schmidtberger is at the names parents are giving their children these days. In it, he states:

Misspelling a child’s name won’t make Junior special, creative or unique. Y’s and I’s are not interchangeable, and apostrophes are not some sort of newfangled confetti to be sprinkled liberally throughout groups of letters. Parents shouldn’t impose cryptic, incoherent or foolish spellings on their own children, nor on society as a whole. And they shouldn’t condemn their children to a lifetime of bleakly repeating that, no, the name in question is spelled “Shaiyahne,” not “Cheyenne.” (And while I’m at it, don’t name your child Cheyenne, either.)

My daughter has an Arabic name. People actually have an easier time pronouncing and spelling her name than they do with mine--a name that is solidly Anglo and spelled about as traditionally as it gets. My name is constantly being misspelled and mispronounced.

This article really has nothing to do with caring about the experiences of people with unusual names. If that had been his true concern, he'd favor names that are both short and spelled phonetically. My daughter's name conforms to that standard and it's a name that's been around for thousands of years. It's just not a part of European culture, but evidently that's not good enough for Schmidtberger. Heaven forbid someone give their child a name that's associated with a non-white culture! Provided one conforms to his spelling restrictions, he's willing to deal with a French name like "Brittany", but a Native American name like "Cheyenne" is absolutely beyond the pale.

Shmidtberger's rant is really a thinly-veiled complaint about white people having to deal with the traditions and cultures of others. It's a means of defining who and what is should be accepted as truly civilized. If the reader has any doubts about whether this is about white supremacy, just read his final paragraph.

The liberty to name one’s child is not always absolute, certainly not outside the United States. In France, for example, the district attorney has a short window of time after a child is born to block names contrary to the interest of the child, including those that are pejorative or rude or would cause ridicule. I’m not suggesting we commission a similar corps of name police in the United States. But I am saying that a little humility and some common sense would go a long way.

Schmidtberger actually has the audacity to claim that parents who, for whatever reason, don't want to give their child a name that they will have to share with hundreds of thousands of other Americans should humble themselves before him and adopt his views about what constitutes a proper name. Oh, and I guess it's just coincidence that the names he prefers are those that conform to the naming traditions of a particular (socio-economic) segment of White, Western cultures. Riiight! I mean, common sense dictates that this is the only legitimate naming practice, right? I guess it would be pointless to inform Schmidtberger that even white people didn't give a dern about standardizing names until quite recently.

While reading it, I thought back to a book that I read many years ago called "How the Irish Became White" that chronicles how one group of people sought to escape oppression by turning into the same kind of oppressors that they had faced in their homeland. Paul Schmidtberger seems to be imitating that process by sneering at those who give their children names that are unique or unusual to him. Perhaps, he hopes that no one will notice that multi-syllabic, far-from-straightforward "Schmidtberger" following his first name in the article's by-line. Nope, nothing unusual there, right Schmidtberger?

I remember when I got one of my first real jobs. It was with the United States Navy. The soldier over the department where I was working (a white male in his forties) mispronounced my name the first time he tried to say it. I pronounced it for him the right way, and in an attempt to be accommodating (one of those traits that bourgeoisie black society champions as a necessity for those people of color who wish to be successful in the world), I told him that I was used to people saying it wrong, so as long as he said something close to it, I'd know he was talking to me.

I learned a big lesson that day. When I told him that, he sternly told me that I should never accept people saying my name incorrectly. He said that it's disrespectful to mispronounce someone's name and that I should always insist that people say it and spell it correctly.

That lesson has stayed with me. Over the years, I've found that those who want to pronounce names correctly keep at it until they get it right*. Those who insist on calling you something other than your name are letting you know that they don't think your identity is worth respecting. They've decided that they can't be arsed to get it right and that's that.

What Schmidtberger is doing here is blaming other people for the fact that he might have to put forth some effort when addressing them. How dare parents force him to have to think about the person that he's talking to as an individual? How dare parents not take into consideration HIS comfort when giving their children names? How dare we insist on exercising our right to be self-defining?

*There are exceptions that should be noted. I have encountered people who, despite their best efforts, don't pronounce my name the way I say it or spell it. Most of the time, these have been people whose first language does not feature words that use the same sounds that are found in my name. It's nearly impossible to confuse these people with those like Schmidtberger, though. Those in the former group will almost always make a concerted effort to get people's names right, whereas the Schmidtberger-types will only (at best) make a half-hearted effort before expecting others to just accept whatever they decide to call you.

Tea Party LULZ

2010-05-13T12:40:00.003-05:00

Ahh, teabaggers! You just gotta love these folks. I came across this video today on Youtube that features an interview that made me just shake my head and feel shame that this tripe was coming out of the mouth of a woman of color.

This woman is talking about "We need to pull the plug somewhere". Isn't that ironic! The movement she's supporting claims that government shouldn't be allowed to decide whether someone lives or dies (i.e. "death panels"), but then you have other teabaggers like this one saying just the opposite. These people have no idea what the hell they are talking about. They are just bitter people who are completely uninformed about politics and reality. They are mindless tools in every sense of the word.

Oh, the Oppression!!

2010-05-05T13:33:00.006-05:00

Daisy (from Daisy's Dead Air) and I belong to a Facebook group dedicated to Muslim/Christian dialogue. It should come as no surprise that the subject of hijaab came up. If you have ever engaged in a group like this, you're probably shaking your head right now, because this is one of those subjects that you know you'll see discussed over and over again. It's practically a classic. The arguments are so predictable that it can become tiresome because you find yourself explaining the same things over and over again.

I have a teen-aged daughter and it is EXTREMELY difficult to find clothes that don't show all of her body in ways that make her quite uncomfortable. I have shopped with my female Muslim friends and they say the same thing. And even when we do find clothes in the stores, they are often so expensive that the average person can barely afford them. In fact, both they and I often have to shop over the internet just to find suitable clothes.

My daughter is very skinny and a lot more curvy than most girls her age. Most of the time, when we go places, people think she is a college student or grown adult. She doesn't wear any make-up nor does she flirt, but she still gets male attention all of the time. Because of this, she tries to dress in a way that will show people that she's still a child, but this is almost impossible now. All of the clothes that fit her proportions are very revealing, because manufacturers assume that any woman with her shape will want to show it off. Well, she doesn't!

She is a book-worm whose favorite place is the library and the bookstore. She likes to play outside in our backyard with her best friend, so she needs clothes that allow her to run around and be active without having to worry about whether her undergarments are going to show.

We live in a sub-tropic zone, so it gets very, very hot here. This makes it extremely uncomfortable for girls to wear all of the layers of clothes that it would take to cover up everything. It's become so frustrating for her, that she's now learning to sew so that she can make her clothes cover her the way she wants and be made from material that isn't too hot to wear in our climate zone.

Every time I turn on the television, I see nothing but women wearing very tight or very short clothes or barely any clothes at all! I support their right to wear whatever they want, but I'm not so naive that I don't understand how they are pressured to wear these kinds of clothes if they want to have a successful career in many fields. Women are expected to look "sexy" no matter what we are doing. Even if we are working outside, we're supposed to look cute doing it.

Sure, we have the freedom to not show our body, but we are often punished in very subtle ways if we refuse to put our body on display for all to see. Some jobs won't even hire you if you won't show your body. Look at the recent cases where Muslim women in the west have lost their jobs because they wore hijaab! And do we even need to get into the cases where Muslim women in the west have been murdered because they wore hijaab?

What some people saying about it being (mostly self-professed Christian) women in the west that fought for the right to dress in the way that many do is correct. However, it is also true about (mostly self-professed Muslims) women in the east . In many countries with mostly Muslim populations, it is the women who have led the fight to wear hijaab if they want to. For example, in Iran, when the Shah tried to outlaw it, women took to the streets to protest it.

"Freedom" is a very subjective concept. It is defined in many different ways and no one's definition is THE definition. Some may think of "freedom" as a woman's right to wear a bikini if she wants. Others may think of "freedom" in terms of a woman's right to be known for her personality and not her body. Just as it is up to women in the west to make their freedom into a negative or a positive thing, women in the east are also free to do the same. I have seen very savvy women in Muslim majority countries use hijaab to gain more representation in politics, business, and academia. These are the same things that women in the west are fighting for without any more success than women in the east are achieving.

Now, can we please find something original to discuss??

To Both My Muslim and Christian Sisters and Brothers

2010-05-02T23:14:00.005-05:00

The dictionary defines dialogue as, "an exchange of ideas or opinions on a particular issue, esp. a political or religious issue, with a view to reaching an amicable agreement or settlement." Lately, I have seen several conversations between Christians and Muslims that were supposed to be dialogues, but actually looked a lot more like debates. They've consisted of nothing more than "Your prophet is a liar" or "Your religion is full of stupid people" or "My God/religion/holy book is better than your God/religion/holy book" or some variation of those insults.

Having read both the Holy Bible and the Holy Qu'ran, I find nothing that makes any of these kinds of debates necessary. In all my years, I have never, not even once, seen someone change their mind about their religion because someone told them they are stupid/naïve/deceived. If anything, those who have converted to or from Christianity or Islam have done so because they were shown LOVE.

If you can't show love for those who believe differently, you'll NEVER manage to convert them, so even if your secret goal is to convince the whole world to change to your religion, it probably won't happen unless you speak to them kindly no matter what they currently believe.

"Verily, Allah is mild and is fond of mildness, and He gives to the mild what He does not give to the harsh" (hadith)

"An answer when mild is turning away rage" (Holy Bible)

"Do you know what is better than charity and fasting and prayer? It is keeping peace and good relations between people, as quarrels and bad feelings destroy mankind" (hadith)

"The fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control. Against such things there is no law." (Holy Bible)

There is a verse from the Holy Bible that I think might be a good one to think about, especially when we are tempted to start saying very ugly things about the religion of someone else:

"Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is commendable, if there is any excellence, if there is anything worthy of praise, think about these things."

Instead of focusing on the myriad things that we may think are wrong with the religion of someone else, wouldn't it be more godly to focus on those things that we believe their religion does right?

Qué, Tim James?

2010-04-28T15:41:00.003-05:00

Lord have mercy on us all! Have y'all seen this campaign ad by an Alabaman gubernatorial candidate named Tim James? He's saying that, if elected governor, he's only going to give the driver's license test in English.

That has got to be the most ignorant tripe I have heard in a loooong time. This guy is actually proud of his ignorance. Maybe some folks in Alabama only speak English, but they certainly don't represent the rest of the population. Furthermore, what he's suggesting is quite illegal. States are required to make public services available to people regardless of their native tongue. This is nothing more than a gimmick designed to make the white rednecks happy.

English isn't even the official language in the USA nor is it even among the original languages spoken here. If we were going to have some kind of law like this, French or Spanish would have a better claim because they've been spoken in this country since before it even became the United States.

Now, here's is the same ad that someone has (hilariously) altered to show just what this policy really boils down to.

Gardening Progress in our Front Yard

2010-04-27T21:07:00.004-05:00

Today, I worked outside in the garden for an hour and a half. I can't do much when the sun is completely out and there are no clouds in the sky, so I had to wait until this afternoon for the shadows (and sun-block) to provide me with a bit more coverage.

The German was off from work today, so he started gardening around noon. He used his big truck to pull all of the Indian Hawthorn bushes out of the ground. They were lining one side of the driveway, from the house to the street. Unfortunately, they weren't well-maintained and, when we moved in, several of them were already dead and the others were in very poor shape. Even after clearing out all of the weeds, they just didn't grow very well. The leaves were yellowing, indicating that they had some kind of disease. Other neighbors on our block told us that they didn't have much luck with Indian Hawthorn either, so it may be that the sun exposure and soil content make it a poor choice for this area.

They didn't look very inviting, either. The three bushes closest to the house were twice the height of the ones that were closer to the street. They blocked the view of our house from the corner, because of how the houses are situated. Pulling them up allows us to see down the street now and The German is less nervous about the possibility of someone hiding over there at night when we're trying to go inside through the garage.

We have decided to replace them with the same Japanese Boxwood that forms a hedge on the other side of the driveway. It grows amazingly well here. We trimmed it when we first moved in, because it had a real shape to it. Since then, it has taken on a very nice look. The bushes are thick and there are no gaps between them. We have to trim them every couple of weeks or else they will grow non-stop. Hopefully, the ones we plant on the other side of the driveway will thrive there.

We also transplanted some plugs of monkey grass from one area to another. The area in the front of the yard where we have put down rose trees and mulch is lined with monkey grass. In some places, it was kind of sparse, so we filled in those spots with what we no longer needed in another part of the yard. We made sure to include the root system and soil plug underneath the grass, in the hopes that this will help them to adjust to the new spot.

VanGoghGirl picked out some Coopers Ice Plants when we were at the store yesterday. We both agreed that the succulent leaves look and feel like lizard tails. The German planted them today, too. They are right at the beginning of the walkway leading from the driveway to the front door. She'll be able to see them every day when she comes home from school. We put them in an area by themselves, because we read that they can sometimes grow too well, becoming an invasive species that can overtake the plants next to them by using the majority of the nutrients in the ground. We also put mulch around them, to help keep them in spot where we want them.

We have a lot more going on with the side of the house, but I'll write about that later. I felt so good after going out and gardening today, that I might do it again tomorrow if my body allows it. Gardening is good for my soul.

Explaining the Concept of the Trinity to a Muslim Friend

2010-04-27T12:26:00.004-05:00

Today, I was posting in a Facebook group designed for Muslims and Christians to engage in dialogue with each other. This particular thread was about the concept of the Trinity that some Christian faiths teach. In this conversation, one of my Muslim acquaintances, a guy named Walim, stated that he'd never been able to get a Christian to explain it to him. I decided to give it a shot and what you see below this paragraph was what I wrote to him. I'd love to hear how others view this issue and the concept of the trinity. It's very interesting to learn about how different people envision God.
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Let's say you are a human and you were born with all of the parts that one might say a "normal human" has. You have 10 fingers, 10 toes, 2 arms, 2 legs, 1 heart, 2 lungs, 2 eyes, 1 nose, 1 mouth, et cetera. These are all parts of the thing we call "Walim". Now, let's say you get into some sort of accident and one of your thumbs gets detached. Does this mean there are now 2 Walim's? No. It simply means that part of Walim is in one place and another part of Walim is in another place. However, they are all parts of the same being.

This thumb that was detached is not superior to the other thumb nor is it superior to any of the other body parts of Walim. However, it is an important piece. In fact an onlooker might look at this situation and wonder why in the world you would allow your thumb to become detached. Maybe there is a really good story behind what happened to your thumb. Some onlookers will see what's before them and decide you must be a really stupid person because you let your thumb get cut off. Now, you have a dead thumb and unless something is done to reconnect it with the rest of Walim, that thumb will remain dead. "What kind of fool allows this to happen to something so important to them?!" they exclaim.

Others will come in and see this situation and wonder why your thumb is lying there and they may take the time to hear your story. They may find out that your thumb became detached, because you were saving a small child from getting their hand cut off by a saw or a knife or an axe that was about to strike them. This explains why you would allow something to happen to your thumb, even though you didn't have to. Those people who take the time to hear what you explain will walk away with a very different conclusion than the one that the first onlookers held. The first onlookers walked away very confused, but this is only because they refused to take the time to listen to your explanation of the situation.

Thus, it is with the Trinity and how Jesus could die and be brought back without there ever being a period where God didn't exist. The Trinity represents how some people envision God.

It is just like when a biologist studies an organism and, for the purposes of learning more about the organism, separately studies three different parts of it. Perhaps, they decide to study the circulatory system, the nervous system, and the digestive system. They can view each of these systems without ever misunderstanding that these three systems, with different, but co-operating purposes, are all a part of one organism. The organism doesn't need to have been born with a little tag inside of its body that says "I am a trinity" in order for the biologist to view these three systems separately.

Now, some biologists will look at the same organism and view it quite differently. They may decide that they don't need to separately study the different systems of organism. Their research may be of a kind that only studies how the organism interacts with the outside world. The fact that they only study the organism as a whole doesn't mean that those who study the systems of the organism separately are somehow erroneous or illogical.

Each of these biologists are viewing the organism based on their educational background, the branch of biology that they are most closely associated with. However, all of these branches are still studying the same organisms.

Thus, it is with the different Abrahamic religions. We are all studying the same God, but because of our background, we tend to view this God in ways that can seem very different to those who only take a superficial look at the religions. I don't see God as a trinity and I never have. This is probably because I grew up in a faith tradition where the people do not envision God that way. I see Jesus and God's holy spirit/active force as divine, but not in the sense that they are God. When I use the word divine, I mean that they are from God.

You belong to a faith tradition where some of the adherents tend to get very nervous whenever they hear the word "divine" used in conversations about Jesus. This sort of thinking (the trinity) is outside of what you're accustomed to, so it seems very bizarre to you. However, that doesn't mean it's impossible for you to gain a very clear understanding of why some see God as a trinity. You wouldn't necessarily have to give up your faith or your traditional way of viewing God to get an understanding of the trinity.

I think that some people are so afraid of thinking in new ways, because they fear that this will mean they have to give up or compromise the beliefs they already hold. However, if someone is secure in their beliefs, they aren't afraid to understand the way others think and they have no need to belittle those that think differently from them. So, it really boils down to deciding what kind of person do we want to be.

While People are Losing Their Homes Here

2010-04-24T21:54:00.003-05:00

Courtesy of Intifada Palestine

The Morality of Becoming Catholic

2010-04-23T12:24:00.003-05:00

Last night, The German & I discussed our daughter's decision to become Catholic. I have known such great priests that I greatly admire, but wondered if it was immoral to join a religion where so many higher-ups are corrupt.

The fact that pedophilic priests have been shuffled around to different parishes, instead of reported to police, is nothing new. Reports in the media wax and wane, but the problem has never gone away. As a survivor of sexual assault, this concerns me. No, it's worse than that. It angers me. I have absolutely no love for the Pope, not this one or the last one. I feel like the CEO of any organization should be held accountable before the law, if he knowingly allowed those in his company to systemically engage in criminal and predatory behavior. Why should the Pope be treated any differently?

The German and I talked about whether it is immoral to give money to the Catholic church given the possibility that those funds could end up in the hands of those who engage in criminal behavior. He didn't feel that it was. I asked him if he thought it was immoral to join the church, given how much criminal behavior some of the clergy members have engaged in. He reckoned that any organization that large is bound to have some criminals in it, but this shouldn't be held against the vast majority of priests who are not doing these things.

I thought about this and a thought ran through my head. Maybe being Catholic is like being a citizen of the United States. I pay my taxes even though I know that they may be used to prop up systems of oppression that I do not agree with. I pay my taxes, because I know that they are also used to provide needed services to millions of people. I don't feel like I need to renounce my citizenship and move to another country, just because I have no love for many of the actions taken by our government.

Right now, I know several people who are working to become US citizens. I know that each of them have reasons that they want to be here, but that doesn't mean one should assume that they agree with everything that the US government (or its citizens) do. I think that may be how I should look at those who decide to become, or already are, Catholic.

I know for a fact that my daughter doesn't give two figs about Pope Benedict XVI. Her love for the Catholic church seems to be tied to several things. First of all, Catholicism is a part of her heritage. Her bio-dad's family is Creole. They have Sicilian roots, too. In New Orleans, the culture of the Sicilian-American community is wrapped up in its traditionally Catholic background.

The German's ancestors were Catholic, too. He has many fond memories of the Bibles and religious icons that his grandmother gave him and his sisters. His mother was baptized and confirmed in the Catholic church. A few years ago, when VanGoghGirl started expressing an interest in her roots, my mother-in-law brought over a box of mementos that her mother had put away for her. VanGoghGirl was mesmerized by the contents of that box. Inside of it, there were little prayer books, pictures from the holidays, baptismal gowns, and even a family Bible. After that, I don't think anyone could have stood between her and her fascination with the Catholic church--not that I would try.

I have always told my daughter that she was free to pursue whatever religious or spiritual path that she felt drawn to. I have no intentions of reneging on that policy. This has mostly been on my mind because we are getting closer and closer to the time when she will start taking classes to begin the process of becoming a Catholic. I want to understand her decision, so that I can figure out the best way to support her, even though I am not a Catholic. I wrote this because I would love to hear from others who have views about this topic. I want to get as much input as I can and consider this from as many angles as possible.

A Note to Christians who Support the National Day of Prayer Event:

2010-04-22T12:09:00.003-05:00

Matthew 6:5,6 says "And when you pray, do not be like the hypocrites, for they love to pray standing in the synagogues and on the street corners to be seen by men. I tell you the truth, they have received their reward in full. But when you pray, go into your room, close the door and pray to your Father, who is unseen. Then your Father, who sees what is done in secret, will reward you."

The National Day of Prayer event isn't just inappropriate because this is a secular society; it's also un-biblical.

That is all.

Mississippi Goddam!

2010-04-14T11:55:00.004-05:00

I remember when I moved out to Baton Rouge and I learned about the desegregation order that had just been lifted a year or two before. I had no idea that there were still parts of the country that were still involved in segregation cases. I'm not talking about situations where schools had slowly become segregated again after the end of what has come to be viewed as the Civil Rights era. These are cases that stretched back to that period, areas that had never followed through with the laws abolishing so-called "Separate, But Equal" policies.

This time, the Justice Department had to take a Mississippi school district to court over several violations of the desegregation order that was issued nearly 40 years ago.

In 2007, lawyers with the Justice Department's Civil Rights Division contacted the Mississippi school district to monitor its compliance with the 1970 desegregation order. The action revealed two alleged violations.

The district was allowing more than 300 students – most of them white – to transfer from their assigned schools to a predominately white school, the Salem Attendance Center, outside their residential zone, according to court documents.

The second alleged violation involved grouping white students into a few designated classes at three other schools in Tylertown. The action created a significant number of all-black classrooms at each elementary grade level, documents say.

Mississippi is continuing to thumb its nose at the laws of this country. If you'll excuse me for using two clichés that reference noses in same paragraph, I should point out that Mississippi has always been a place that's willing to cut off its nose to spite its face. It seems that the white people in that state are absolutely content being the laughing stock of the entire United States. The state produces a consistent stream of news stories that make it possible for the white people in other parts of the country to pat themselves on the back and claim that they don't engage in racism.

Well, most people of color see through the lies that white Americans tell us and themselves. Still, Mississippi does stand out because of how egregiously it flaunts its systemic racism. The lyrics of Nina Simone described the situation clearly way back in the 1960's and they remain as true today as they were then.

My Garden Updates

2010-04-09T14:30:00.002-05:00

My African daisies are perking up again. The English ivy that I re-planted seems to be enjoying the sunlight, now that it is outside. The lilies seem to like the shade beneath the patio cover. The little greenhouses aren't showing much growth yet, though. The tulips have come to the end of their life-span; it's time to dig up the bulbs and store them until autumn.

The German is still trying to coax the grass to grow while keeping the weeds under control. He put the fountain together yesterday and it's really quite lovely. He's going to have to adjust the pump a bit, though that can wait while we gather the supplies we're going to use to put down paving stones this weekend.

So, How is an Un-Enrolled Native-American/Black/French/Irish/Italian Creole Girl Supposed to Fill Out the Census?

2010-03-18T19:21:00.004-05:00

I am absolutely dreading filling out the census forms for my family. Being from a port city, my identity is a mix of so many cultures, that it becomes difficult to try and explain on forms what I "am". I usually identify as a Native American/Black/French/Irish because those are the only groups that I actually have cultural ties to, even though we recently learned that my maternal ancestors also include some Germans, too.

My daughter comes from an Italian/Creole family on her father's side. What in heaven's name am I supposed to say that she is? Am I the only one who is completely stressed out about this?

If you really want to find out how screwed up this census form really is, try being a Louisiana Creole or Cajun! Nobody seems to give a damn about our identity. I wonder what my blatino first cousins are going to put, since they identify as Bolivian/Louisiana Creoles. This form is an absolute mess!

Please Don't Say You're Sorry

2010-03-17T14:14:00.002-05:00

At this point, I think I'm kind of a professional at this cancer survival thing. I've been doing it for so long that it can be hard to remember how it felt to live without it. I'm really proud of myself for doing all that has been necessary for me to survive this long. I have no problem saying that I have accomplished more with my body than almost anyone I know (except some of my amazing sisters and brothers in the disability community).

Becoming committed to surviving cancer was not an easy feat. Dealing with other people's reaction to my cancer was one of the things that made it an especially difficult process. When the people around you are treating you like you're already on death's door, it can be hard to see past the fatalism. If I had a dime for every person that said "I'm so sorry" or "Poor baby!" when they found out I had cancer, I'd be richer than Bill Gates.

Oh, I know they meant well. It's just that I think that's those are among the absolute worse reactions one can have, but I don't think most people realize this. Feeling sorry for someone isn't doing them any favors and, personally, I don't think cancer is anything to feel sorry about. I think that's the wrong thing to focus on.

Fortunately, cancer isn't an automatic death sentence any more. For many folks, it can simply be something they have to live with, like diabetes or astigmatism or asthma. Feeling sorry is a waste of resources that could be used to gather your resolve to face a new reality. Really, that's all having cancer is--a new reality for the individual survivor and their loved ones.

To the Black Christians on Facebook Complaining About Mexicans

2010-03-12T20:55:00.001-06:00

Wow! This is unbelievably bigoted. The signs you see all along the highway aren't "American". They are English. Spanish is far more American than the English language will ever be. Mexico is a part of America. America is a lot bigger than just the United States. In fact, the United States is just a small part of the Americas. People were speaking Spanish here for hundreds of years before English became popular.

Of course, most of us black folks never stop and think about why it is we're supposed to fight with other brown folks for jobs that don't even pay enough for people to really take care of their families well. Instead of complaining about the crappy jobs that most Latinos wind up having to take (often getting even lower wages than blacks receive), why aren't y'all complaining about the folks who are taking the GOOD jobs--the ones that are still dominated by white people? This is sad!

I seem to recall you writing on here about being a Christian, so I have a question for you. In the Bible, Jesus was always on the side of the oppressed, so who do you think that he'd be preaching against and who do you think he'd be defending if he were on Earth today? Is someone who speaks Spanish any less your brother or sister in Christ because they don't speak the same language as you do? Do you really think God cares which language anyone speaks?

I hate seeing my people buy into this English-only nonsense. It's the same bigoted crap that was used on our ancestors. If it wasn't for English-only propaganda, maybe fewer black people in this country would be so separated from their REAL history instead of falling for the idea that European history is our history. The ol' divide and conquer strategy is still working, I guess.

Vanessa Williams Calls out the latest 'White Savior' Movie

2010-03-08T18:57:00.003-06:00

Today on Facebook, Monchel Deshawn posted a link to a video segment of The View where Vanessa Williams speaks out about why The Blind Side isn't original and contributes to stereotypes about black people.

Vanessa Williams Bashes 'The Blind Side' on 'The View' (VIDEO) - Inside TV

Of course, there are folks like Barbara Walters who want us all to pretend as if we live in some sort of alternate universe where the media doesn't have a long-standing historical role in maintaining and propagating racist stereotypes, a world where history plays no role in what we see today. Is it any surprise that this is a view that benefits the (white) people like Barbara who express it? Notice how she felt the need to cut Williams off and then get indignant when Williams tried to go back to making her point.

People like Barbara Walters (and several of the people on the site hosting the video) don't want to stop and consider why these kinds of stories get attention and others don't. How many movies can you name where the rich black family helped the poor homeless white kid or the nice black teacher comes to the assistance of white kids who are in failing schools? Yet, I can name bunches of movies that are nothing more than variations of this White Savior meme.

When Duty Calls

2010-03-04T22:34:00.001-06:00

I really need to print this out and put it on the wall above my computer. That way I'd remember why I don't even visit some websites and blogs any more. When I see certain kinds of ignorant and bigoted comments, I get the urge to respond and then some other ignoramus says something stupid and I'll want to correct them, too...and I'm sure you can see where that road goes.

Whistleblowers Expose Housing Discrimination Against Asians and Muslims

2010-03-04T16:52:00.010-06:00

The Stonebridge apartment complex in Euless, Texas has made the news because it's been exposed that they've been refusing to rent to Asians and Muslims.

This video brought tears to my eyes for several reasons. Firstly, because of the injustice that Asian and/or Muslim applicants were subjected to. Secondly, because these two Texan women empathized with those that our society has labeled "foreign" and "scary". Let's face it. Texas isn't exactly known for cultivating a belief in the value in religious and ethnic diversity, which makes it even more amazing that they had the courage to stand up against whiteness and white privilege and religious privilege.

When one of the whistle-blowers was talking about how what was done to these applicants wasn't fair, I suddenly thought about a scripture that I was taught as a child. My mother, who is a staunch Christian, taught it to me when I asked her about what would happen on the day of judgment to those who didn't identify as Christians, but still lived as good people while they were alive. Some churches teach that anyone who doesn't proclaim themselves to be Christians were doomed to an eternity in the fiery pits of hell, no matter what good deeds they did in life. My mom always taught me that those people were just wrong and this is the passage she shared with me to back up her claim:

for it is not the hearers of the Law who are just before God, but the doers of the Law will be justified.
For when Gentiles who do not have the Law do instinctively the things of the Law, these, not having the Law, are a law to themselves,
in that they show the work of the Law written in their hearts, their conscience bearing witness and their thoughts alternately accusing or else defending them,
on the day when, according to my gospel, God will judge the secrets of men through Christ Jesus.
Romans 2:13-16

There is a similar scripture in the Qu'ran, that I was recently reminded of by my dear friend at KameelahWrites.

Yes [on the contrary], whoever submits his face in Islam to Allah while being a doer of good will have his reward with his Lord. And no fear will there be concerning them, nor will they grieve.
al-baqarah 122 (Sahih International translation of the Qu'ran)

The classic (al-jalalayn) interpretation of this verse is:

Nay, but, others will also enter Paradise, namely, whoever submits his purpose to God, that is, adheres to His commands (wajh, ‘face’ [sc. ‘purpose’], is here mentioned because it is the most noble part of the body, so that [when it has submitted] there is all the more reason for the other parts [to follow]), being virtuous, affirming God’s Oneness, his reward is with his Lord, the reward of his deeds being Paradise, and no fear shall befall them, neither shall they grieve, in the Hereafter.

I am convinced that these verses are true and I believe that they apply to the two women in this story. People like them remind me that kindness and justice are qualities that anyone can practice, no matter what religion they belong to.

Jazz Makes me Feel the Presence of God

2010-03-04T16:40:00.002-06:00

Whenever I feel like I'm in need of a spiritual experience, this is what I listen to. I swear, listening to Kermit Ruffins gives me more shivers than an all-day revival at a Pentecostal church. If you can't feel the presence of our ancestors while listening to this song, then you might as well bury yourself now, because you're already dead.

"Ohhh, Lil Liza! Lil Liza Jane! Ohhh Lil Liza! Lil Liza Jane!"