Thursday, August 13, 2009

Teh Stupid Comes in Threes

Annaham is a brilliant and witty blogger who identifies as a PWD. She's been on my blog roll for a very long time and is always worth reading. Visiting her blog today, I found her short, but sweet, response to a big bag of fail also known as the We Are The Real Deal blog.

To make a long story short, what happened is a bunch of cis-gendered, thin, non-disabled white women decided to create a blog that they said would represent women of all kinds. A commenter named Jelly pointed out that they would need to get some bloggers who are women that exist on the margins of society, if they wanted to truly prove that they were dedicated to diversity. In response, one of the site's bloggers (mamaV) decided to prove just how dishonest and clueless she truly is, by responding like this:

This is yet another perfect example why no blog moderation– totally rules. How else would we be privy to such close minded commentary to ponder?

I am a barbie and proud of it. But I am not proud of the fact that it took me 20 years to figure it out, all the while letting the Jelly’s of the world make me feel like crap.

The green-eyed-monster will kill you. This I know is true.

Yes Jelly, my feelings are “a whoop-dee-do” — They count. They matter, and your attitude is completely discriminatory –just as you accuse us as being.

And, for the record, I don’t feel sorry for you or anyone else —tell me what exactly I am supposed to be feeling sorry for again? How do you define fortunate?

After reading your words, you know what I was left with? “Ohhhh…whoa-is-me.” How long will you cry in your soup before you wake up and realize you wasted your life being pissed off a the wrong thing?

Hugs and kisses ,
Barbie…the goddess you will never be.
I swear, this is the third Special White Woman case I've seen online in the past two days. In the comments of these two posts, MamaV proves that she doesn't even know the meaning of the term "privilege". How in heaven's name does she think she's qualified to represent the views of women of all sizes? Whiskey Tango Foxtrot?

I'm a woman of color with disabilities. My disability causes me to periodically lose a lot of weight. As a result, I'm always more likely to be underweight than overweight. It's no effing picnic not being able to get the nutrition I need no matter how much I eat. However, I have never had to deal with being charged extra just to ride in a plane or having anyone criticize me for eating "too much". Even when I've taken Prednisone and gained a couple dozen pounds, I never had to limit my shopping to just one or two stores in a mall because none of the others carried my size. I've never had my claims dismissed by a doctor who blamed all of my ailments on one thing. That, my friends, is what it means to have privilege.

I mean, let's keep this real. I'm 128 lbs. right now and I am desperately trying not to lose the weight that I have to work so hard to keep. Even when I was nine months pregnant with my daughter, I never got above 155 lbs. In the past couple of years, my weight has sometimes dipped as low as 103 lbs. When that happened, I was deathly ill and constantly having to go to the hospital to get pumped full of IV-fluids just to keep from passing out, because I couldn't even hold down water without throwing it back up. My eye sockets felt hollow and dry and I was constantly getting dizzy or falling asleep, because I didn't have the energy to stay awake without napping several times a day. It was miserable.

Being skinny--I was far past just being on the thin side--was no walk in the park. However, that doesn't mean that I really understand what it's like to be considered fat. That's what mamaV was and remains clueless about. Saying that being skinny makes you an authority on what "fat" people go through is like saying being non-disabled makes you an authority on what people like me experience. It's just stupid. No, actually, it's stupid and privileged. We shouldn't forget that fact and we should keep on reminding people like her just how stupid and privileged it is.

Now, I'm going to attempt to erase all of Teh Stupid staining my brain after reading that nonsense. Maybe this will help:


Caitlin said...

bint, I came over here to respond to your excellent comments at WAtRD and SP, but I've never seen that video before and the bit where the mother lifts her daughter in the air made me cry. And then so did all the rest of it.

I needed that today. Thank you. And thank you for your words on WAtRD. mamaV's repeatesd declarations of "that's just my style" had been bothering me a lot and you really put your finger on why.

I'm off to watch the video approx 3000 more times.

BLESSD1 said...

One of the worst things someone can do is speak from ignorance. How can you speak w/any semblence of authority on something that you know absolutely nothing about? It's idiotic, and I am glad that you called mamaV out.

Renee said...

There are some people who are too narcissistic and power hungry to see beyond themselves and their own immediate needs. The woman sounds like an oxygen thief.

annaham said...

Thanks for the link and the lovely compliment, Bint!

OMG, "Special White Woman" made me laugh out loud; what I can't figure out is why so damn many white liberal feminist bloggers haven't yet *gotten* that their perspectives on body image and such are not the end-all, be-all on the topic. As your post beautifully demonstrates, issues having to do with the body are different for everyone. There may be commonalities, but Special White Woman bloggerz steamrolling over other peoples' experiences is really not the greatest strategy when it comes to finding similarities, or building a community of any kind.