I talked to my mom last night. She may be coming to visit this month so I had to tell her about all of the weight that I've lost since she last saw me a few months ago. She was pretty alarmed and sounded very upset for a minute but I could see she didn't want to show it. Her advice was to steer clear of the drama going on in my sibling's lives--both good and bad. She thinks I worry about my brothers too much.
She's probably right. I'm always feeling like it's my responsibility to help them out whenever they're in need of something. They've always turned to me when they got themselves into trouble that they didn't want our mom to find out about and I liked being in that role. Now it's usually not even an issue of hiding anything or fixing their mistakes. I just take on too much. I'm always offering to babysit my nieces and nephews and my friend's kids too, even when I'm not really in the best of health. The German says I overextend myself.
My mom did say something else that I think might be helpful to think about. She said that my weight has hovered around 110 lbs ever since I was a teenager. Maybe I just need to accept that this is the weight is the norm for my body and that I've just been losing a lot of weight because, for once, I managed to get quite a bit above its usual range. She reminded me how I gained the recommended 40 lbs when I was pregnant with VanGoghGirl but, after delivery, I was back down to my pre-pregnancy weight within a month.
That was kind of comforting. Maybe my body will just settle down a bit now that I'm at this weight. I can't afford to keep losing the 5 lbs a month that my body has been averaging.
The German went out and bought me some hummus and khubz arabi (arabic bread that kind of looks like pita) and I've been munching on that for the past few days. He also sautéed some shrimp to go with it. He also bought some granola cereal for me and he's still getting the whole milk which seems a bit thick to me since I'm used to the low-fat kind. We also had pizza the other night and I loved it even though, later on that night, I felt like it was trying to burn a hole through my stomach.
I'm really proud of myself for trying to eat more. I think I'll get The German to make me some scrambled eggs when he wakes up. I haven't been to sleep yet. My insomnia has been keeping me company all night. I'm going to try and lie down now.