A few minutes ago, I was explaining to someone about why I prefer to consider myself as queer and not "gay", "straight", or "bisexual". In my experience, the choice between gay or straight just doesn't work for many people.
I spent years of my life trying to fit into one category. The first person who ever had a crush on me while I crushed on them was a boy. He was my "boyfriend" but we only talked on the phone twice and we never so much as held hands. Hey, what do you expect? We were still in the single digit age group! Throughout my adolescence and all but the last couple of my teen-aged years, I had some meaningful relationships with both females and males but I wasn't sexually active, so I'm sure those years count towards determining anything other than the fact that I had no desire to sleep with anyone.
If someone is currently involved with a man, as I am, does that mean they are no longer or not necessarily attracted to women? I don't think so. If our sexuality is only determined by our current partner, then that would mean those who aren't partnered don't have a sexuality. That just doesn't make sense, at least not to me. My sense is that one's sexuality is determined by several factors that, of course, includes whatever relationships someone may be in at a given point in time.
It has taken me many years to figure out why the sexual binary just doesn't seem applicable to my life. It isn't simply because I'm able to love women and men. It's because I am not a binary kind of person. I am the product of many generations of voluntary ethnic mixing. I've had several inter-racial relationships. I have lived being perceived as both disabled and non-disabled. I have been a conservative with progressive views. Taking all of that into consideration, it's easy for me to see that it would be unusual for me if I did feel comfortable in any binary system.
In some circles, there seems to be a lot of resentment towards those who refuse to see the world as black and white or, in this case, gay or straight. It's 2007. Sometimes it really amazes me how some people just can't seem to understand the fact that sexuality is a continuum, not a dichotomy. Maybe they're really just hoping that we'll all just stop making it so dern uncomfortable for them to remain oblivious to reality.