Seriously, it's all your fault. You're the cause of my allergies. In fact, you are my allergies. When you wake up in the morning, your sole goal is to get in my nostrils and irritate my nasal passages. Don't you have better things you could do with your time?
Yes, this is a totally pointless post but I have a nosebleed this morning and I need someone to blame it on because it definitely isn't a result of me forgetting to take my Zyrtec last night and don't you dare insinuate otherwise!